Older Howard Stern Show and Related News
The King Of All Media
Howard Stern
Conquerer of radio, television, books TWICE, and FILM!!!
(7-31-97)
DALLAS UPDATE: KEGL "No Comment"
Portions below taken from usenet, if you wrote something and want credit please let me know!

Contact The Eagle 97.1 KEGL In Dallas
and tell them that they have made the wrong decision,
and whatever else is on your mind:

KEGL Contact Information

phone:
(972) 869-9700 (voice)
(972) 401-2161 (fax)
(972) 869-1479 (fax)
(972) 263-9710 (Sales - Dennis Frawlay)
or write:
"The Eagle"
KEGL 97.1
P.O. Box 540397
Dallas, TX 75354
or email:
97-1kegl@computek.net

Nationwide Insurance Contact Info

Nationwide Insurance
One Nationwide Plaza
Columbus, OH 43216

1-800-654-1570
(614) 249-7676, president Mr. Burger

website:
www.NationWide.com (see "Contact Us")

If you have Nationwide Insurance (Auto, Home, etc) and you want to change it, in Texas, see the website www.tdi.state.tx.us for a list of other insurers you may want to consider switching to. I recently went shopping for better prices on auto and home insurance, and I excluded any affiliation to Nationwide Insurance, regardless of their prices or ratings.

Voice Your Opinion In Print

The Dallas Morning News
Letters from Readers
P.O.Box 655237
Dallas, TX 75265

Fax: 972-263-0456

America Online: DMN editor

website: www.DallasNews.com


SUPPORT THE CAUSE!!!
There will be a rally protesting 97.1's ignorant decision to kick our beloved Howard off the air in Dallas. It will be on Aug. 15. You can call 214-322-0127 for details. Everyone must be there to show our support for Howard.

AL BRUMLEY RADIO JOURNALIST ON PUBLIC RADIO THURSDAY...
HERE'S THE SCOOP THANKS TO SOME LOCALS!
From: legalnet@airmail.net
Newsgroups: alt.fan.howard-stern
Subject: Outcome of Al Brumley Show Thurs.
Date: Thu, 31 Jul 1997 18:16:54 GMT

After having read that Al Brumley would be KERA 90.1 at noon, I waited. During the first half hour they had another guest and I think he got maybe one phone call. During Al Brumley's part there were phone call after phone call (including mine .. I was the only female Howard Stern fan that called). All, except one, stated the conversation out that they were Howard Stern Fans and miss him. They all stood out of very intelligent with an age of between 41 to 52. After about the 5th call and someone saying "i hope we get Howard back soon" even the interviewer of the show said "I do too". The one caller who did not identify herself as a fan expressed surprised that so many Howard Stern fans were also listening to KERA (didn't fit I guess with the misconception that only young acid rock kids listen to him).

Finally, Al also said that he honoestly did NOT think that Howard would ever end at THE EDGE 94.5 and that the updates they were running was an old top 40 trick to get us to listen to their station ... hmmmmppfff

Al got to plug the upcoming rally for August 15, 1997 from 6 a.m. to 9 a.m. in front of KEGL. See you all there.

From: DP dp@dmans.com
Newsgroups: alt.fan.howard-stern
Subject: Dallas Al Brumley: NOTES FROM SHOW
Date: Thu, 31 Jul 1997 13:33:32 -0500

Today, Thursday, Al Brumley was on 90.1 on the Glen Mitchell Show to discuss the current state of radio in Dallas. Of course, the topic of confab was the Beagle dumping Howard et al. With the exception of maybe two callers, everyone else made a positive comment about Howard's show. Even Al said he listens to it and enjoys it. Glen Mitchell asked the obvious question, why would a radio station "commit economic suicide?" Al answered with the obvious canned answers that the Beagle has been feeding us with - can't sell to advertisers, blah, blah, blah. He also made the comment that he can't understand what their problem is since other markets are doing fine with their ads during HS. He said maybe they needed to work harder.

Make note, Nationwide also owns a station in Dallas called MIX FM. I didn't get the number but avoid it too.

One caller made the comment she found it interesting how many HS fans are listening to public radio. I say we are an educated/informed bunch!

Al reviewed the latest ratings for another caller: Howard's show was #3 overall and #1 in his target market (25 - 53 yrs old/male). Previous years he was #1 overall. #3 ain't bad, by the way, given the number of stations we have here.

Additional comments were the conversativism of Nationwide and how they were offended by HS. A key comment, in my opinion, was how a handful of major corps are taking over the radio waves. I read this as "censorship". "Wake up white people" and ALL people! The right wing MFer's are out to get ALL of us. (Remember, the only color that is important in this country is the color green, so all of us in the working class are subject to corporations, government and religion to control our every thought!)


Check out Dallas-based David Gold show about Howard:
http://www.audionet.com/radio/talk/klif/gold/9707/dg0729.ram
You need to fast forward about 12 minutes in to get to the Howard stuff


According to KEGL's web page (www.kegl.com/index2.html) they need some help. Account manager, sales manager. Imagine selling commercial time on a station that has alienated all the listeners they had. Up to this challange? Fax your resume to 972-401-2161.

Caution: it's illegal to harrass via telephone or fax. But I'm sure they would appreciate getting everyone's resume, even if you are looking for a career change.


(Taken from www.DallasNews.com)

Stern's fans struggle with cosmic shift

07/31/97

By Nancy Kruh / The Dallas Morning News

Perhaps a support group should be started, or maybe even a 12-step program.

Howard Stern fans in the Dallas area have been trying just about everything else this week to cope with the silencing locally of their favorite talk-radio personality. On Monday, the irreverent morning show was dropped by "The Eagle" KEGL-FM (97.1).

The station had decided earlier this month not to renew the show. Then, with six weeks still left on the contract, KEGL abruptly chose to replace the show with rock music.

The sudden action sent Mr. Stern's hard-core fans into the throes of cold-turkey withdrawal.

"I'm completely lost; I'm devastated," says Tracie Hoard, a 26-year-old insurance claims analyst who lives in North Dallas. "I know that sounds like an exaggeration, but for five years, if I can't listen to him, I tape him."

Every weekday, Ms. Hoard has set her alarm for 6 a.m., an hour earlier than she has to get up, just so she can loll and listen to Mr. Stern's first hour. On Tuesday, with the alarm still set for 6, all she could do was lie in bed and languidly listen to nothing.

Mr. Stern may be silent in the area, but his fans aren't. Ms. Hoard is among the hundreds who KEGL says have called the station to complain. She also is among those who have phoned "The Edge" KDGE-FM (94.5), which has opened a "Howard Stern Hotline" at (214) 787-1244. Fans have been invited to "voice their feelings," though the station has no plans to pick up the show.

Nor does any other Dallas-area station - a situation that has left fans hanging onto any shred of hope that, once again, they can hear the man they refer to simply as "Howard."

They've surfed the Net, searching for a rumored site that allows users to download the show. No luck. They've called electronics stores, looking for an antenna that can pick up the show from its nearest broadcaster, an FM station in Austin. No soap.

And so they've been having to rely on their own ingenuity. Several fans each morning have been making toll calls to the Austin station, KJFK, and asking to be put on hold so they can listen to Mr. Stern's show.

"We've got three lines where we let people get on," says senior producer Ty Rivers. "Most hang on for about 20 minutes."

Sharon Rubell, a 26-year-old accounting assistant in Fort Worth, has found some relief with show synopses posted on an Internet site, but - she sighs - it's just not the same. "I used to come in in the morning, and first thing I do is turn on my radio," she said. "Now, I have nothing to laugh about."

William Blanton, a 25-year-old college student in Dallas, is considering asking his grandmother in Waco to tape the show broadcast from Austin. He also wants other fans to contact him so he can "get some sort of group together [E-mail: wjb1@airmail.net]."

A protest is being organized by Melrose Larry Green, a Stern show regular. He is asking fans to join him outside the KEGL headquarters from 6 to 9 p.m. on Aug. 15.

In the meantime, fans are left to flounder - futilely searching the radio airwaves for a replacement, trying the TV morning shows, or grimly taking the Howard-or-nothing stance.

Which, as it turns out, has its merits. Says Mr. Blanton: "I've actually been doing my homework instead."


Howard's sacking by the insurance agents was featured on WFAA-TV news in Dallas on Monday. For the text of the story and a RealAudio simulcast (you get to hear Audrey say "No comment"), here's the link:

http://www.wfaa.com/news/28/stern.shtml

Let The Word Go Forth...No Howard, No Eagle!


Dallas Boycott List of KEGL advertisers
Minyard's Food Stores
Corporate Office
(972) 393-8700

Taco Cabana 
(Several Metroplex locations)

McDonald's
Regional Office
(972) 869-8888

Discount Tires
Regional Office
(972) 250-1265

Southwestern Bell
Yellow Pages
1-800-479-2977

Hooter's
(does numerous 
 promotions and 
 are all over the 
 web page) 
Many locations to 
choose from.


On the Border
(214) 559-2287

Allstate Insurance

Comedy Defensive Driving
(214) 363-8949

Video Update
(214) 821-4844	
(214) 341-6995	

Whataburger
Regional Office
(972) 756-0096

Beepers Unlimited
(214) 360-9276

Flash Net
(972) 299-9399
http://www.flash.net


Prodigy
1-800-prodigy
http://www.prodigy.com

Compass Bank
(972) 238-8970

Budweiser
Bud Light
(214) 634-1500

Micatin 
(Johnson&Johnson)
http://www.jnj.com

Miller Lite - Lollapalooza

Telecom USA (10321 Long Distance)

Warner Brothers
(187)
http://www.wb.com

DeVry 
(still featured on the 
 web page, but I'm not 
 sure about advertisements)
From: Keith krenard@rsn.hp.com
Newsgroups: alt.fan.howard-stern
Subject: Boycott KEGL not the Advertisers
Date: Wed, 30 Jul 1997 09:27:46 -0500

We shouldn't boycott the business that advertised on KEGL while Howard was on the radio. We need to boycott KEGL. Call the business, and let them know that we are not listening to the radio station that the pay money to advertise on, They will get the hint and will soon find another radio station to advertise on. When that happens KEGL will DIE!!!!!!

If we threat a boycott of the advertisers when Howard does come back to Dallas the business will be afraid to advertise on his show. They will be afraid if the station drops Howard, then they will feel the blow of a frontal attack by us "the fans".

We need to educate the advertisers. Let them know they are wasting their money on KEGL.

NO HOWARD, NO KEGL!!!!!!!!

Screw the Eagle! Send e-mail to the other rock radio stations in Dallas and let them know that Howard is available and you want them to pick him up! Tell them they will make a TON of cash from all the Howard fans if they act fast!

KDGE: info@kdge.com
Q102: q102@ktxq.com
The Zone: www.933thezone.com/mailme.html

The Eagle has signed their own death warrant! Rise up Howard fans! The hour of fan revolution has stuck!

Howard Rules Dallas now and forever!


I think by now we all know Howard wasn't goofing around when he said he wouldn't be on the air in Dallas, thanks to Nationwide Insurance / Communications. Well, if you've been under a rock lately you still probably know that Howard will no longer be gracing the mornings of KEGL and Dallas for that matter. This belief was totally reenforced last week as Stuttering John got thrown out of KEGL, despite the fact that through the contract with Stern, he's an employee of the station. And it wasn't the station's people who threw him out, it was the cops. Later, Audrey the P.R. person showed how stupid Nationwide is by defending KEGL stating: "We want to be a rock station; we're number one with rock and we want to be number one with rock all day". She is a total robot... Anyway, the real reason is this: The station is willing to lose revenue in the morning to gain revenue for the rest of the day. The Howard Stern show, with all it's controversy and what-not keeps more advertisers away from the station all-together than it brings in just for the morning segment. So, Nationwide thinks this will make them more money. And, as an added bonus (probably the original reason for them dumping Stern), they will no longer be linked to the source of controversy. Sorry to say for them, this "source" of controversy is also their source of a number one morning show, and the only reason people listen to the station. Many fans have expressed that once Stern is over, the station is changed no faster than Howard can say "I'll see you tomorrow". The Eagle can't realize that the rest of the station sucks, as seen by the press release they put out, which can be found on Kevin Renzulli's site. They'll find out one way or the other...


(7-31-97)
Stern Prized By Czechs
By Steven Gaydos

HOLLYWOOD (Variety) - Watching a peculiarly American pop culture creation like Howard Stern make his first media splash in the Czech Republic made traveling 15,000 miles almost bearable.

Stern's autobiographical -- not to mention auto-erotic -- feature film debut, "Private Parts," unreeled earlier this month as part of the competition lineup at the 32nd Karlovy Vary International Film Festival.

As part of his much-self-promoted crusade to be known as the King of All Media, Stern just notched another victory: Private Parts not only competed in the A-status festival race -- it took home a prize.

The Betty Thomas-directed comedy tied for the festival's Audience Award with Vladimir Michalek's "Zapomenute Svetlo (Forgotten Light)," a Czech drama about a Catholic priest in a conflict of conscience and politics.

The packed house in the Grand Hall of the town's Hotel Thermal went nuts for the raucous and ribald Stern-starring biopic, which is titled, for Czech consumption, "Soukrome Neresti," or "Private Vices," which loses Stern's point, as it were, in the translation.

The award is voted on by ballots submitted by the audiences after the screenings. For the entertainment industry conspirators among us, consider this: in this venerable spa town out in the far western corner of Bohemia, ballot-stuffing from the shock jock's rabid American fans wasn't the reason for his victory.

The Czechs and the rest of the international film buffs simply enjoyed and appreciated the quality of the film, which was noted by dozens of Stateside critics when the film made its U.S. bow earlier this year. In fact, the original strong buzz on the film set Stern up for a rare deflation when the picture wound up grossing an underwhelming $41 million domestically.

In Karlovy Vary, however, Stern got the last laugh, and on a stage filled with film and culture dignitaries from Czech president Vaclav Havel to Academy Awrd-winning director Milos Forman, "Private Parts" walked away with a trophy. Unfortunately, neither Thomas, Stern nor the film's Czech-born producer, Ivan Reitman, was on hand to savor the moment, or see the giant billboards dotting the city bearing a huge still of Stern as his Fartman character, bending over in front of an acolyte.

Which is a shame, because all of the principals on this film can appreciate the irony of Stern's scatological visage decorating the Karlovy Vary colonnade where an aged Goethe courted his lover and Beethoven strolled on afternoons long past. They'd also have gotten a genuine emotional charge out of seeing their tale of an iconoclast in conflict with a savage bureaucrat screening for an appreciative audience only a few years free of five decades of savagely bureaucratic oppression.

Reuters/Variety

(7-24-97)
Chess Match Over, Robin not to be Robin X.
In the daily ritual of having Mr. X (Robin's hubby-to-be) and Howard make their one-a-day chess moves, Howard made a big blunder. Citing poor visiblilty as the main factor, he moved his queen into the wrong spot therefore causing a serious error which threw off his chances of winning. Mr. X wouldn't let him take the move back, so Howard declared himself the loser and the chess game is now over. Robin will not be marrying Mr. X..... yeah right! She's been looking at wedding dresses and defending Mr. X.'s chess-playing skills vehemently! When the wedding date is announced, you know it'll be here!
(7-23-97)
Howard Stern's PRIVATE PARTS now on video cassette
Private Parts was released on Tuesday July 22nd for home video rental. From what I've heard, the priced-to-sell release won't be out until at least October. If you want to buy it on vide now, be prepared to pay at least $89.95. Pay-per-view subscribers can see Private Parts on September 1st, and Laser-Disc enthusiasts can get Private Parts now, in Letterbox, for only $39 (according to sources, not verified)
(7-10-97)
Quick Blurb...
This reported from Aaron Barnhart @ http://www.echonyc.com/~barnhart/lsn
(6-27-97)
WIN! WIN! WIN!
Howard Stern's
PRIVATE PARTS
on video cassette!
2 copies to be awarded July 22nd

To enter, follow this link!!

Contest sponsored by IN Jersey
(Brian's Howard Stern page is not affiliated with IN JERSEY any way. Just seemed like a good contest!)

(6-26-97)
Howard's Next Movie
Howard has mentioned a little bit about this, and some reports have been leaked out to the media. Howard has been collaborating with the director of the romantic comedy in which he is considering playing a third lead to Melanie Griffith (Jane) and David Spade. Howard met with Melanie Griffith last week, and she immediately fell in love with his personality, says Stern. Howard decides whether or not he's going to do the part of "Michael" in the film today.
(6-22-97)
Norfolk, VA station drops Stern Show
Citing poor ratings as a factor, The Coast (WKOC-FM 93.7) has decided that the Howard Stern Show will no longer be a part of their station. Bob Sinclair, station owner, said that Stern's ratings were disappointing and the show wasn't worth the six-figures he was paying for it. The decision has been deemed totally "business related" but speculation is that pressure from the many nutty religious groups spawned the cancellation of the show. If you'd like to complain, their web site is at www.TheCoast.com. Email links available on the site. This also sucks for people in Richmond who depended on the distant Norfolk signal for their morning entertainment. Howard was showing up in Richmond ratings believe it or not, despite the station being almost 100 miles away.
UPDATE:
Monday morning on WKOC there was a "Ask The General Manager" program where listeners could call in and voice their opinions of the station's operations. Many distrought callers complained about the station's big move to remove Stern. But get this!? The Coast and it's sister station will be switching formats, and on the new station they will have new morning man ManQueer from Chicago?!?!?.. I hope at least they THINK they know what they're doing... maybe if Stern wasn't there first he'd have a chance... but the often-immitating always-duplicating of Howard Stern by the ManCoward will be hard since Howard's already innovated the Norfolk area.
(6-21-97)
Jones Intercable dropping E! Nationwide
Many people across the country have been experiencing the affects of what it's like to be told what they should watch. In the case of Jones Intercable, it has been decided that the E! Entertainment Network, coincidentally the channel that carries Howard Stern's highly rated show, is not worth the channel space. Many of the Jones systems have been replacing E! for MSNBC, the channel with "Imus In The Morning", and / or the Country Music TV channel, featuring country music videos and interviews etc. If you have been affected by this totalitarian decision, this is what you should do. First, boycott the system. If you want to cancel your cable, go ahead. If you do this, don't pay the remainder of your balance. But, I know many people don't want to lose their TV, so if you want to keep it, simply boycott what you can. Cancel your PAY-TV subscriptions, don't order pay-per-view movies or events, write and call the company religiously. Do everything you can to make them lose money. It's unfortunate that in this day and age, money has such a strong affect. But, since it does, use it to your advantage. Jones Intercable is switching the channels because it saves them money, and makes people happy. They figure they won't be inundated with the religious rite's complaints, and MSNBC / CMT probably cost them less to carry. It's all economics... and besides, Mr. Jones lives in Denver. He doesn't care what you think... but his wallet will.

The Jones web-sites are at www.jic.com and www.jii.com.
There you can find email and customer comment forms.

Here is the letter I sent Mr. Jones:
I am not a Jones subscriber, and recently I have come to the
conclusion that I should be thankful for that.  Your selfish
business practices of dropping the E! Entertainment Network
from your many city line-ups is being done with absolutely
NO consideration for what your customers want.  Any business
specializing in bringing customers what they want and not
doing it deserves to be ridiculed, and if possible, anyone
who is unfortunate to have to have your service should find
alternative means.  You don't deserve their money, especially
when they're paying you for something you can but aren't giving them.
Note: If you have a cable company besides Jones, like TCI, who is doing the same thing to you, you are encouraged to boycott as well!
(6-20-97)
Minneapolis / St. Paul Ratings Trends Show Promise
(Courtesy http://www.pioneerplanet.com/columnists/docs/LAMBERT/docs/019046.htm) .
By Brian Lambert
Staff Columnist PIONEER PLANET

Anecdotally, it would seem to be quiet on the great Stern vs. KQRS front.
Unless you've been places I haven't, I detect very little buzz in terms of who's
listening to whom and who's losing to whom.

But with Wednesday's release of the Arbitron radio ratings' so-called
"rolling trends," preliminary to next month's report on the full spring
quarter, it is clear Stern and the transformed WBOB (100.3 FM) are making some
headway in the Twin Cities.

At whose expense is a matter of discussion.

Among persons 18-34, a primary demographic group sought by both KQRS and
WBOB/Stern, the latter has suddenly jumped from sixth in the winter book,
(January, February, March) to third in this "rolling trend," which measures
March, April and May, or only one full month of Stern's impact on Twin Cities
radio. (The math nerds among you can compute what effect one month out of
three would have to have to move the numbers as much as it did.)

Here are the rankings among persons 18-34, measuring the 6-10 a.m. morning
drive of Winter '97 against the "rolling trend" of March, April and May:

Rank Station Winter Rolling

 1 KQRS-FM 30.4 28.3
 2 KDWB-FM 10.4 10.9
 3 WBOB-FM  5.4  8.3
 4 KSTP-FM  7.3  7.0
 5 KEGE-FM  8.8  6.7
 6 KEEY-FM  6.7  5.7
 7 WLTE-FM  5.1  4.7
 8 KTCZ-FM  3.1  3.8
 9 WCCO-AM  2.5  2.2
10 KQQL-FM  1.6  2.0

As you can see, if Stern is to be blamed (or given credit) for the slide in
KQRS' numbers, the effect thus far has been minimal. But, since in many ways
this is a corporate battle pitting Chancellor Broadcasting (parent company of
WBOB, KDWB, KEEY, KQQL, KTCZ, KFAN and KTCJ) against Disney (parent company of
KQRS, KEGE and the three low-power FMs bound together as "X105"), its
interesting to note that both KQRS and KEGE are off from their winter numbers,
while virtually all of the Chancellor properties have increased market share
among 18- to 34-year-olds.

Even KFAN-AM's morning drive (Bob Yates et al.), which some figured would be
dealt a fatal blow by Stern's arrival, increased its numbers from 1.5 to a 1.7
over the period. Not much, much up is better than down.

Looking at the next older demographic group, the 25- to 54-year-olds, KQRS'
morning drive numbers remain strong (nearly 2 1/2 times the audience of No. 2
WCCO-AM). WBOB is up slightly, from 4.3 to 4.8.

The ratings for 25- to 54-year-olds, again comparing Winter '97 to
March-April-May.

Rank Station Winter Rolling

 1 KQRS-FM 22.7 24.9
 2 WCCO-AM 11.8  9.5
 3 WLTE-FM  8.0  7.8
 4 KDWB-FM  5.2  5.8
 5 KQQL-FM  5.5  5.7
 6 KEEY-FM  6.7  5.3
 7 WBOB-FM  4.3  4.8
 8 KSTP-FM  5.4  4.5
 9 KTCZ-FM  3.6  4.3
10 KMJZ-FM  2.5  2.7

These numbers might suggest WCCO-AM is at most peril in terms of a direct hit
from the Stern arrival. But note that Disney's youth-oriented KEGE drops from
10th in the Winter '97 book (a 3.3 share) to 12th in the rolling trend, (a 2.4).

WBOB operations manager, Andy Bloom, was guardedly optimistic about these
first numbers to offer any kind of an indication of Stern's appeal and impact in
the Twin Cities.

"It's a pretty good day," said Bloom. "We're very pleased to see some
progress with Rock 100.3 and Howard Stern. I think I can say the numbers are
impressive."

Bloom was instrumental in Stern's arrival in both Philadelphia and L.A. He
ducked a question about comparing Minneapolis-St.Paul to either of those markets
on the ground that "in both cases, Howard was added to ongoing formats. Here,
the entire radio station was blown up when he came on the air."

Bloom is referring to WBOB's switch from a cowboy-music format to its present
head-banging, simultaneous with Stern's arrival in late April.

The full Spring '97 Arbitron report will be out in mid-July. With it will
come more specific demographic figures, specifically the battle between Stern
and KQRS for younger men.

Bloom has said in the past that Stern has traditionally taken a year or more
to establish a large enough audience with which to springboard into numbers
that would be genuinely competitive with KQRS. But by any objective
measure -- and the Arbitron system is the only one we've got -- Stern and
WBOB are off to an excellent start in Minnesota.

(6-10-97)
Robin Oblivious To Her Giddy Actions...
as she has been more and more nice and happy and laughing around the radio crew, and when asked about this new attitude, she says she's always been like that. Everyone disagrees. Robin is currently dating a man named Tony, and now she's gone over her edge. The woman who vowed that marriage would never be a part of her life revealed to Howard a kookie proposal made up by her boyfriend. Howard has been trying to arrange a chess match between him and Big Blue, the IBM supercomputer. With this mention of chess, better than average chess player Tony had an idea -- play Howard in chess, and if Howard wins, he proposes to Robin. Ordinarily, Howard would say no because of it's stupidity, but because of the stupid consequences he immediately agreed! Jackie added "yeah, and then we can play monopoly to see how many kids she's going to have!" Robin still stands firm on her decision not to have any children, but then again she said she'd never be married.
"I don't know!" she replied when Howard asked if she wants to marry Tony. Howard and the gang were busting her balls (so to speak) telling her that she is crazy to give up her perfect single life. "I'm not like you guys and it wouldn't be like your crazy marriages!". She is oblivious! Crazy Robin, always thinking of the show!
Chess should start tomorrow with one move per opponent per day...
(5-28-97)
More Stern-Affiliate Problems... Dallas
KEGL 97.1fm, The Eagle, was recently purchased by Nationwide Communications/Insurance, and with this switch of ownership comes the possibility that the morning show may do the same. It is uncertain at this point, but the talk that this has generated is quite paralleled to the talk generated when New Orleans did the same thing a year ago. Howard's contract expires in September, and there is doubt whether Nationwide is willing to renew it. Due to the controversial nature of the program, selling advertising seems twice as difficult compared with other times of the day. The station's FCC license is also up for renewal as well, and they are looking for new a program director and general manager (Donna Fadal was fired as a result of the takeover). Most of the rumors that Howard will be moved to KYNG, a country station owned by the CBS/Westinghouse conglomerate have been started by competition in the market. KEGL representatives say the station will remain a rock format, therefore most suitable for Stern's show.
If you are affected by this and would like to voice your opinion, here is some station information:

(5-28-97)
More Stern-Affiliate Problems... San Diego
91X lost Stern after rants stirred Mexico's rancor

It turns out that what seemed to be a justified station switch in San Diego, from 91.1fm XTRA (Transmitted and licensed from Mexico) to US-based 105.3fm KIOZ, had a lot more to do with just simply transmitter location.

By John Freeman

May 27, 1997


Howard Stern's radio show was moved April 30 from 91X/FM to Rock105.3/FM. That's an undisputed fact.

But what is in dispute is why Jacor Broadcasting -- which operates both stations -- moved 91X's highest-rated show to Rock105.3.

According to documents obtained by The San Diego Union-Tribune, the owner of 91X/FM, a Rosarito Beach-based firm known as XETRA Comunicaciones, was forced to remove Stern from 91X/FM to avoid disciplinary sanctions by the Mexican government.

A copy of a letter from XETRA's attorney to Enrique Rubio, Mexico's director general of the Department of Radio, Television and Cinematography, states that XETRA/FM agreed to "suspend starting April 30 the program of Howard Stern that is presently broadcasting on this station."

Those Spanish-language documents contradict statements made by the management of 91X/FM, which has insisted that Mexico placed no pressure on the station.

Jack Evans, regional vice president/programming for Jacor Broadcasting's stations in San Diego, characterized the Mexican government's actions against the Stern show as "concern, not pressure" to move it.

"As we were acquiring our radio stations from (previous owners) Noble, Nationwide, Gannett and Par, it was always our intention to realign the morning shows based on format compatibilities," said Evans.

Irreverent, risque

Jacor Broadcasting executives have claimed that the main reason for the switch was that Rock105/FM, which has a contemporary hard-rock format, better fits Stern's irreverent, risque form of social satire.

While Stern's show clearly better fits Rock105/FM's male-dominated audience, the evidence indicates that Jacor had no choice but to move it to one of its other stations, one licensed by the U.S. government.

(Jacor's roster of San Diego stations includes Rock105/FM, KOGO/AM, KSDO/AM, KKBH/FM, Channel 93.3, KGB/FM, and KPOP/AM. In addition, it owns U.S. sales and marketing rights to 91X/FM and XTRA/AM, which are owned by Mexican businessman John Detmold. (He did not respond to repeated phone calls to his Rosarito Beach home.).

Why did the Mexican government -- officially, the country's Department of Radio, Television and Cinematography, located in Mexico City -- act to remove Stern from 91X/FM?

According to documents, the government was incensed at Stern's repeated anti-Mexican remarks, especially those during shows that aired late last year. The government charged that such remarks violated Mexican law.

"(The program) offends the essential human dignity . . . of people in our country (and) demerits the values of the Mexican nationality," reads the translated document.

It also states: "It is perceived in the absurd speech of Howard Stern the intention of generating the impression of intolerance and hostility of Mexicans toward Americans (that) contradicts the permanent effort of the government of our country to promote the cordial relations and growing flow of tourist travel."

Characteristic rants

What did Stern say that the Mexican government found so offensive?

On Dec. 20, according to the documents, he went on one of his characteristic rants, aimed against Mexico.

Sample comments included: "I think they should build a gigantic wall around the United States. . . . Illegal immigration is killing this country. We can't support them. We can't take care of them. . . . It's a disaster."

Stern then stated: "They hate us, and what have we done to Mexico? . . . I went there on my honeymoon and let me tell you, the hostility I felt. I was at Acapulco Princess (hotel). It's a swindle for tourists. They think you're dumb. They think you're going to get off of (the) bus and buy their trash they sell at the side of the road. Oh, the look they give you, a look (of), you disgusting American."

Then, according to the transcript, Stern made explicit comic references to "donkey shows" in Mexico.

Jacor's Evans said that Detmold, the station's owner, asked if Stern's show could be moved off 91X/FM. In addition, he said, some 91X/FM advertisers had expressed concerns.

"We looked at his concerns and the opportunities we had and it made sense to make the changes we did," said Evans.

Recordings and transcripts

So how did the Mexican government agency become so active in the Stern controversy? And who sent the recordings and transcripts to the agency?

Victor Diaz, who until recently was president of Z90/FM, a rival station to 91X/FM, said he was a major part of that effort. Several months ago, Diaz joined with a Spring Valley-based minister, the Rev. Samuel Fosu-Mensah, who has formed the activist group End Radio Air Smut Effectively (ERASE).

Diaz said he and the Rev. Fosu-Mensah went to the Mexican Consulate in San Diego, as well as to Mexico's Secretariat of Communications in Mexico City. Their complaint was that Stern's show contained indecent material that was offensive and harmful to youngsters who might be listening.

Diaz said he has contributed to ERASE, but he declined to say to what extent. In recent months, ERASE has taken out two half-page ads (costing approximately $5,000 each) in the Union-Tribune that decry "pornography" in local morning radio. (Five other local stations were cited, all owned by Jacor.)

"I support his organization because I believe that children shouldn't be exposed to that kind of filth," said Diaz.

Lourdes Sandoval, spokeswoman for the Mexican Consulate in San Diego, said, "We only voiced our concerns (about Stern to the Mexican Secretary of Communications). . . . In Mexico, it's very difficult to defend a Mexican radio station having a disc jockey making those kind of comments. It's insulting to our people and to our country."

According to a copy of a summons sent from Mexico's Department of Radio, Television and Cinematography to XETRA's attorneys, XETRA was cited for violating Mexican law, including "Article 5, Sections I, III and IV, and Article 63 of the Federal Radio and Television Law," among others.

Last week, Stern -- whose vulgar, combative style is part of his multimedia appeal on his syndicated radio show, his two best-selling books and a recent movie ("Private Parts") that's based on his career -- vowed that he plans "to take on" the leaders of ERASE. He then ridiculed a list of his alleged misdeeds, as printed in a recent ERASE fund-raising letter.

Stern's antics that day and every morning since May 1 were heard on Rock105/FM, a station operated and licensed in the United States.

Said Evans: "We have something here called freedom of speech. That's the difference."

JOHN FREEMAN can be reached by phone (619 293-2274), fax (619 293-2432)
and e-mail ( john.freeman@uniontrib.com).


(This article Copyright ©1997 and courtesy of Union-Tribune Publishing Co., from The San Diego Union-Tribune)

(5-27-97)
Scandal with New Orleans?
It may not be a scandal but a concerned Memorial Day New Orleans listener felt the rest of the world should know about the (Howard Stern Stolen Vehicle Police Recovery Network) New Orleans' affiliate's attempt to skip best-of programming in lieu of music...
My call to the Stern Show was prompted by the absence of "Best-Of" on
Memorial Day, from our local affiliate, The End 106.7.  The station
simply decided to blow off BO and play music, brought to us by a dj
named Kat.
(I have tape, of course.)

I spoke with Kat, who first stated that the station did not tell her
anything about the substitution.  However, I then weaseled out of her
that she was told the show would be back on May 27.  AND that this
Stern Show decision was INTENTIONALLY delayed until their offices
were closed for Memorial Day.  In other words, if the Stern Show
can't contact them to verify, it never happened.

Phone numbers at the End:
504-260-1067 (request line)
504-524-5158 (office)
504-522-6544 (fax)
Call or fax your complaints to the above phone numbers.
As always, I do not endorse any type of action, whether right or wrong.
Thank you, drive through!
(5-26-97)
Private Parts video release date confirmed...
Several people linked to the video-store / rental business have confirmed to me what has been rumored for the last 2 weeks -- Private Parts will be released to home video as early as this summer. July 22 is the current set date, but these dates, like the theater release date, aren't completely set in stone. The purchase is priced at $89.95, a standard price for a new movie in which the video stores must pay. The movie will be advertised on the video releases of Beavis & Butthead and Relic, a source told me. This date comes just over a month after the film's international spread. Private Parts, like most movies that are rushed into home video, had a very limited run in theaters, starting at a modest 2500 screens, but quickly dwindling, much like it's placement in the top 10. Despite all this "negativity", Private Parts still gets my vote as a great movie that everyone should see.
(5-20-97)
Frank Gifford's Affair Gets Stern's Sympathy
Howard returned from France swamped with tabloid TV shows trying to get his say on the latest controversy surrounding Kathy Lee Gifford. The Globe reported that Kathy's 66 year old hubby Frank was photographed having sexual Kathie Lee Weeping relations with a 47 year old flight attendant he has known for four years. During the past 4 years, he's sustained contact with the woman mostly via intimate telephone conversations. The first on the scene was Hard Copy, showing up at K-Rock around 5am. Howard had vowed to stay out of television media since saturating it for his movie promotion, but this was an opportunity he couldn't pass up. While deciding whether or not to speak, Robin said they should sympathize with Kathy Lee, something no one, not even Frank Handing Out Money Kathy Lee, would expect from Howard. It was so funny! The camera crew came in and taped Howard's scripted words on this scandal. He mentioned how things sometime go wrong, and that he and his prayer circle would include Kathy and Frank in their prayers. Be strong in your faith in God and all will be well, something kooky like that. Not kooky to say religion is kooky, just to hear Howard say it! Later in the day, he let American Journal and Inside Edition in on the same response. For most of the country it should air today (if your affiliate of the program carries it in the morning or early afternoon).

(5-15-97)
Jockey Stern Does Cannes
By Dave Kehr from this link

CANNES, France

Nobody here knows who I am," said Howard Stern. "They all think I'm Louis XIV." But the American radio host, his regal hairstyle visible from a distance of two blocks, has been drawing crowds at the 50th Cannes Film Festival, even though no one here has ever heard his show.

It doesn't hurt that a giant, inflatable Howard Stern which from a distance looks more like a giant, inflatable Sylvester Stallone wearing a Jaclyn Smith wig has been anchored in the bay all week.

Here to promote his autobiographical film "Private Parts," which opens in France and England in two weeks, Stern seems to strike Europeans as part lanky cowboy, part naughty kid and part heroic free speech advocate.

"I'd never heard of him before, but I thought his movie was everything 'The People vs. Larry Flynt' should have been but wasn't," said Geoff Andrew, the film critic of London's Time Out. "It's very funny and very outrageous. We have disc jockeys in Britain who try to be outrageous but they come off as rather pathetic -- just infantile, really."

Stern has his own explanation for his European acceptance. "Everyone in Europe hates the United States government, and the U.S. government hates me. So they should all like my movie."

The "Private Parts" party, to be held May 14 at the private beach of the posh Majestic Hotel, has become the festival's hottest ticket perhaps because of the widespread rumor that Stern will arrive sailing up on the beach accompanied by fireworks and a flotilla of strippers. Presumably, this is one

Cannes spectacle that will not require English subtitles.


(5-14-97)
Internation Sales Slump
SYDNEY (Variety) - It was a case of Howard who? in Australia, as Howard Stern's "Private Parts" had a joyless premiere in its first major engagement overseas. Stern's comedy grossed $232,000 Down Under, despite a big advertising campaign. The shock jock's film didn't register either in Taiwan ($60,000) or in Thailand (where its first weekend generated a mere $25,000).

(Clips courtesy Yahoo Entertainment News written by Don Groves...)


(5-14-97)
Howard In France, "Best of" whole week
Well, if you turned on your radio and were wondering why Howard and Robin were talking about uncurrent non-topical stuff, and why Billy West is on, it's because it's Best Of Stern all this week. Unannounced to the public, Howard, in order to promote the international release of Private Parts, is in France at the Cannes Film Festival.

The New York Post reports Howard Stern's debut at the Cannes Film Festival is being greeted by a shrug of the shoulders and the question: Howard Who? The Post reports a number of people at the festival could not identify a photograph of the self proclaimed "king of all media." However, many remarked they would recognize him the next time they saw him because of his hair.

Howard Stern made his mark on the Cannes Film Festival yesterday when he turned up for a photo call at the Majestic Beach accompanied by three beautiful women in blue hot pants with see-through panels, fishnet stockings and halter tops emblazoned with "Private Parts" -- that's the movie he's plugging here.

It wasn't long before the three women dropped their tops and posed with Stern. Stern gave the crowd a de Gaulle salute and shouted, "Vive la France!" He then went on to explain that he knows only two other French expressions: "Les femmes sont belles" ("Women are beautiful") and "Howard Stern est cuckoo."

A confrontation was averted on Sunday when the "Private Parts" publicists acceded to police requests and removed a 40-foot, inflatable version of Howard that was hovering above the Mediterranean.

The reason? French President Jacques Chirac was arriving that evening for the official 50th anniversary celebration of the festival, and, sources tell us, they felt that it ruined the Cannescape. Cops even threatened to shoot it down.

Also while in France, Howard also met with executives to discuss the possibility of syndicating his radio show in France.

As far as a lack on consideration to the fans to announce that Best Of is on, Howard commented earlier in the month that he no longer wanted his stations to promote that fact, stating that whether or not Howard is on live makes no difference to the listeners - they will still listen.

(Portions ©1997 The NY Post [N.Y.P. Holdings Inc.] and UPI)


(5-6-97)
Howard's Streaking Intern
During a rather complimentary segment when Howard was discussing his thoughts on the recent "Ellen coming out" episode, 23 year old unpaid intern Zack Waldman decided it was time to run into the studio and scream like a madman while plugging his brother's bar and nightclub in Florida "One Night Stan's". Apparently, the author of Private Parts doesn't mind seeing womens', but a guy is a different story, especially when it's one of his employees. The crew spent 45 minutes on the topic, questioning Zack and his motives behind the stunt. Zack said he was planning it since his first day working there. Someone found his clothes and kept them from him. Luke Perry was in for quite as a surprise as he was escorted from the lounge to the studio by the nude intern, with just a piece of paper covering his schween. Unfortunately for Zack, he had a pretty good track record with the staff -- not anymore. Immediately following his stunt and the comedy that came as a result (no pun intended), Bababooey let him know he had to leave. Zack was thrown out of the building... with his clothes on. Extra reported Zack is now looking for a new job, and says that he doesn't regret what he did, and he'll be greater than Howard someday...
(5-1-97)
STATION SWITCH FOR SAN DIEGO
It turns out that the new station is not as strong, for more details please see above stories...
People who were previously having problems receiving Howard in the San Diego area from 91.1 XTRA can breath a sigh of relief and stop straining their ears to hear the weak signal. Starting today Howard's show can now be heard on 105.3fm KIOZ Rock 105, one of the company's 10 San Diego area stations, 2 of which transmit from Mexico (including 91.1 XTRA). For more info please visit my Station Page.
(4-28-97)
Chunk of JFK's Head Brought In
Monday morning Howard finally had his friend bring in the piece of President John F. Kennedy's head that he picked up in confusion during the actual assassination. The friend who chose to remain unidentified was accompanied by a former medical examiner who positively identified the piece as belonging to a human male. He also determined from it's state of decay that they piece was detached from it's host approximately 30 to 40 years ago. Mr. "X" made it clear that he was now quite releaved to admit to his secret, that he has been holding on to this since Kennedy's death. He was a business man back then, in Dallas, and coincedentally happened to be near the grassy knoll at the time of the incident. Unsure of what to do after he picked up the piece that flew over by him, he wrapped it up in a handkerchief, put it in his pocket, and decided to keep quiet. The unidentified man stored Kennedy's brains etc. in a glass jar filled with farmaldihide and encased in lead, knowledge he gained by asking a medical person how he'd store his son's tonsils. Mr. "X" also mentioned his financial difficulties, and said sale of the prized Presidential parts would be within reason to the highest bidder. Calls came in starting at $75,000. A photographer from the New York Post got the exclusive photo of Howard holding the jar. The tension was high as the pig brain was carried off... pig brain? Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, the whole thing was a hoax! Howard had never done anything like that before and wanted to see how much attention it would bring! Seems he did a good job - he's been setting this up for over two weeks... April Fools! (BTW, it still is April!)...
(4-7-97 revised for 4-28-97)
Robin loses her Jeopardy bout for Charity
(Edited portions from usenet)
Robin lost on celebrity Jeopardy. The show was taped over the weekend for a Monday April 28th airdate, the first of five "celebrity Jeopardy!"s. She plays against Rob Schneider (Saturday Night Live copy boy) who was really funny but terrible, and Mark McEwen (weatherman from WCBS Channel 2 in New York, heavy black guy, not Al Roker) who was fairly funny, but does really well. I knew Robin was in trouble when I heard Mark took the jeopardy qualifying test 12 years ago and PASSED. This test is quite severe. Forget the right answers, just understanding the questions were a task. One answer I recall was the gamma effects of paleomagnetism. Robin was trying and was doing well till just before the end of double jeopardy. She missed an easy 1,000 and that really messed her up. Going into final jeopardy, she had $6,500 to Mark's $11,700. Unfortunately, things didn't work out. She will utter "the catskills" when she lays down to die like citizen kane's "rosebud". She wound up with 0, tied with Rob Schneider, while Mark took a hefty $26,700 for his charity.
(4-22-97)
USA Network has Howard Stern's "Private Parts"!
Acquires exclusive rights to the network window to
"King of all Media's" Autobiographical film

Source: Business Wire

NEW YORK--(BUSINESS WIRE) -- USA Network has again pre-empted broadcast television by acquiring the exclusive network window of "Private Parts," the hit film based on Howard Stern's best-selling autobiography, from Rysher Entertainment. "Private Parts" will be available to USA Network in 1999, immediately following its pay television window.

The acquisition of "Private Parts" follows USA Network's other recent network window acquisitions of hit theatrical films, including "Casino," starring Robert DeNiro, Joe Pesci and Sharon Stone; "The Usual Suspects," starring Kevin Spacey and Gabriel Byrne; "Sudden Death," starring Jean-Claude Van Damme; "The Posse," starring Mario Van Peebles and Billy Zane; "Wagon's East," starring John Candy; "The Substitute," starring Tom Berenger; "Splitting Heirs," starring Eric Idle and Rick Moranis; and "Barb Wire," starring "Baywatch's" Pamela Lee.

"We love Howard's 'Private Parts'," said USA Network's Entertainment President Rod Perth, "and we know his ever-growing nationwide popularity makes this a great acquisition for USA Network. This is another example of our commitment to the aggressive pursuit of major theatrical titles as part of our overall programming strategy."

Starring Howard Stern, Robin Quivers, Fred Norris, Jackie Martling and Gary Dell'Abate as themselves, and Mary McCormack as Howard's wife, Alison, "Private Parts" offers an uncensored look at the life of America's number one radio talk show host, from his troubled childhood to his triumph as the "King of all Media." Comical and irreverent, Stern shares the heartbreak, angst and headaches of his unique metamorphosis from pathetic and despised geek to pathetic and despised American pop celebrity.

"Private Parts" was produced by Ivan Reitman for Paramount Pictures and Rysher Entertainment. USA Network is cable television's leading provider of original series and feature movies, sports events, children's animated programs, off network television shows and blockbuster theatrical films. USA Network is seen in over 70 million homes. USA's website is located at http://www.usanetwork.com


(4-18-97)
The Pecker Checker
Friday morning, Howard came up with another great way to touch women without cheating: The Pecker Checker. Actually referred to as the penial pleas-mo-graph (or whatever), this machine monitors the circumference of the male genitalia. A rubber-band type sensor is placed on the penis, and a wire is hooked into the machine. Howard and his great idea! Janine, one of the two lesbian girls who was featured on Howard's Tonight Show w/Jay Leno appearance that Jay censored, was to do anything she could to arose the lucky victim. The contest was set up - whoever could withstand the psychiological temptation the longest would be the winner! First was Howard, who was quick to fall prey to his growing schween, 40 seconds. Jackie was next, but seemed distracted by his circus-music that was playing during it, or it may be the fact that he's over 50! No response after 3 minutes. Something wasn't right so Robin came in to see what she could do -- apparently she was all over him cause he was gone in a minute! What a tease! Next Bababooey, who lasted all of 35 seconds. Howard attributes this to his animal tendency. Fred then was tested, and the crew believed he'd be either the quickest or the longest. It seemed the stunning Janine wasn't affecting him at all. Howard then got up and tried to get gay with Fred, but to no avail. Bring in Robin again! Robin got him up in no time! So, since it was so unorganized, no one cared about the contest. It was hysterical, though! Definitely a true "Stern Show" moment, a classic!
(4-17-97)
Stuttering John's Last Plug
Today on the show, that blathering bumbling idiot John Melendez, better known as Stuttering John, finally got what he's always deserved - the end of all attention from Howard - no plugs, no support, no nothing. John, who started out as the crazy-sounding stuttering intern 9 years ago, was pushed back down to the billigerant person he has always been. Howard started by mentioning that he was working out while listening to John's K-Rock radio show. Howard didn't find John's attempt at humorous bits funny, so he let John know. John then accused Howard of being biased The no-talent other than read Howard's questions Stuttering John! cause he'll "... always think of me as a kid..." intern, having been there to watch John develop from dopey intern to the dopey dj. Howard tried to back up his reasoning, but John refused to take it. Continuing with that line of reason, John then went on about how whenever he makes appearances Howard never mentions them on the air, yet when anyone else on the show has one, they get immediate air time. John used Jackie and Bababooey as examples, people he felt have done the same things (making appearances and getting endless plugs) with no problem. When John did "Baywatch Nights" Howard knew better than to promote it, because it would only be free plugs for a show that "the guy from Howard Stern's Show" is on. John felt this was a personal attack, since everyone else's appearances always get a mention except his. Howard quickly pointed out that John is no where near in the same league as them. John attempted to use his new "radio career" as an example of how he's good on his own, but that was quickly shattered by Howard, who admitted to many "back-room" conversations with management which were more than ready to fire John. John then shed light on the fact that he works so hard screening phone calls for the show, and Howard let him know that even a monkey could do that. References to other stupid things John's done (like smoke pot and run up $2000 hotel bills during the Private Parts premiere in LA, and screwing up his radio job) were brought up, only making John's case worse!
So, in a scuffle of words which finally lasted almost an hour, it was decided that John didn't deserve to receive any attention anymore. And from now on when you hear Fred play the tape of Howard saying "Fred, read the plugs!", you won't be hearing Stuttering John's name anymore.
As of May, Howard seems to have forgiven John a little bit, mentioning here and there how John's radio show has improved...

(4-16-97)
NEW STERN MARKET ANNOUNCED:
MINNEAPOLIS / ST PAUL!!

Starting Wednesday April 16th, Minneapolis / St Paul began simulcast of
The Howard Stern Show on WBOB Real Rock 100fm.
It is the 16th largest radio market and 14th largest television market.

AND FOR THOSE WHO STILL CAN'T HEAR HOWARD...
There have been many rumors circulating that Howard's show will be debuting very soon in Atlanta, Seattle, Houston, Cincinnati, Kansas City, Denver, Milwaukee, Louisville (KY), and Nashville!!!
(4-9-97)
NEW STERN MARKET ANNOUNCED:
CHARLOTTE, NORTH CAROLINA!!

Starting Tuesday April 15th, 95.7fm WXRC Charlotte will begin simulcast of The Howard Stern Show. The Stern show now will hit this city including its outlaying suburbs and the northern South Carolina frindge.
This gives Howard 2 North Carolina outlets.

(4-4-97)
NEW STERN MARKET: FT. MYERS FLORIDA!!
Starting Monday April 7th, 96.1fm WRXK Ft. Myers will begin simulcast of The Howard Stern Show. The Stern show now will hit this city in addition to Naples as well. This gives Howard 5 Florida outlets. And, as usual, Ft. Myers residents can see Howard on his E!-TV show on channel 45 on Continental Cablevision.

(4-4-97)
Movie has no legs... in theatres
Well, looks like all the hype didn't help too much. Granted, Howard's Private Parts did break just-about break the 30 million dollar mark, it was no match for it's competition which quickly engulfed movie-goers money. Last weekend, it only pulled in 2.1 million. However, despite the fact that Private Parts theatre legs were broken by it's competetion and no matter how much hype is generated there will still be those who refuse to give their money to Stern, it is almost guaranteed that there is going to be money made on it's video release. And, with the promise from Howard to include the up to 50 minutes of footage cut out of the theatrical release, you can be sure there will be multiple video and/or laser disc editions.
As always, none-the-less, he has conquered the forums he set out to conquer, making a great comedic movie and putting together a half-way decent soundtrack. Can you blame him for taking advantage of his huge fan base??...
(3-10-97)
Private Parts Tops Ticket Sales
Howard Stern can definitely be called "The King Of All Media" after last weekend. Private Parts came out on top last weekend at the box office, bringing in an estimated 15.1 million dollars for the weekend. Tim Allen's Jungle 2 Jungle followed with just over 12 million dollars.

Let's not forget Howard's literary genius that inspired the number one movie in the country, Private Parts the paperback best-selling book has returned to the top 20 spot of non-fiction books on the New York Times best-sellers' list, number 18 for February. USA Today's Book Sales list shows Stern climbing from #109 all the way up to #68.

Howard's King status can now also be describing syndicated TV. His "Making Of Private Parts" special which has been syndicated all over the country has been doing very well. Usually, "Making Of" specials are limited to cable movie channels like HBO. Howard decided on the syndication move because of the fact that it would reach more people than by airing it on one cable channel, and besides, most cable channels already produced their own Making of specials. Syndicated shows are shows picked up by local stations at their will, and the only payment is that they air the selected national commercials. Currently, this show has covered over 80% of the country - almost twice as much as Howard's E! Entertainment Television show reaches. See below for the air times for your city!


I SAW THE ALBANY PREMIERE ON WEDNESDAY 3/5!!
Click here to read about my experience!!!

(3-06-97)
SOUNDTRACK HITS NUMBER ONE ON BILLBOARD CHARTS
Only out for one week, the Private Parts soundtrack has hit number one on the billboard chart (based on national sales). Could it be because everyone's buying 4 of them?? Anyway, hitting number one on the first week for a soundtrack based on the amount of sales was only beaten once by the soundtrack for Waiting to Exhale. Private Parts The Soundtrack is now number one on this list as well.!!!
(3-05-97)
New Market: Fayetville, North Carolina!
A new addition to the Howard Stern Radio Network
WRCQ Rock 103.5fm!!
(2-28-97)
Private Parts Premiere over, Soundtrack Gone Platinum
Thursday night (2/27) in New York was warm and balmy, perfect weather for an event that will be remembered as the biggest movie premiere in history. The event was covered on MTV and Howard's home on cable, E! Entertainment Television, along with hundreds of US and international press. Scenes From Movie Remarked by Billy Corgan from the Smashing Pumpkins as "more exciting than being at the grammys", the star-filled extravaganza which seemed to have as many celebrities among it as fans was held in New York's Madison Square Garden amist all demographics as far as Stern fans go. All this for the premiere of Private Parts, the comedic one-of-a-kind biopic of Howard Stern, which after the concerts held by the soundtrack-featured artists, was shown to the 6000+ audience on one of the largest movie screens ever constructed. The movie was shown in two sets, an early showing and then again at midnight. One thing was common once the movie was over, everyone liked it AND STERN! Not only did the movie appeal to the die-hard Stern fan, encompassing key Stern historical moments and revealing new insight on the relationships between those involved, and having many Wack-Pack stand-ins and inside jokes, but also to the non-Stern crowd and those who absolutely sware him off just by name. This is the movie these people will never want to watch, but once they do, they will be so glad that they did. The only people who don't like this movie are the ones who have not seen it! Its a good, heart-warming story that proves that no matter what, if you keep trying and believe in yourself and have people who believe in you, you will reach your goal.
And with the hit movie, there is a hit soundtrack. The CD contains 9 new songs that are all awesome, including the current Porno for Pyros single Hard Charger, as well as 5 old tracks and lots of cool clips. Also really cool is a dance mix containing clips of Howard's Dad back from when Howard was a little kid, and a techno-rock groove called Tortured Man written by Howard and the crew and remixed by the legendary Dust Brothers. Over a million copies were released to stores, a record amount according to Warner Brothers. And, Stern's marketing genius to release a standard cover and 3 alternatives in small amounts hasn't hindered this CD's sales at all. Fans are out scapping them up, pushing this CD into Platinum territory. I admit, I've purchased them. I don't know whether to open them or not, considering one of the CDs contains a gold ticket entitling its bearer to a GOLD CD, and lots of other goodies (I hope that ticket doesn't end up in Kansas somewhere and some guy throws it away!). All that can be said is Howard Stern has done it again, once again proving that he lives up to his (originally self-proclaimed but now fact) title of The King Of All Media; radio, records, movies, books, and TV. Howard Stern's Private Parts Soundtrack Standard Cover

I've been very busy trying to keep up with all the Private Parts TV promotion, so I can't write as much as I would like to. However, I was on usenet briefly and pulled some interesting pieces of news off. Some stuff edited for length ONLY. I hope the authors don't mind me using it... if you see something that's yours, let me know and I'll credit it.
Fridays on Geraldo is 'Gossip Day.' He had that old yenta Cindy Adams on. The Private Parts movie was brought up. Cindy sits there, sulking in a sour puss. Mike Walker makes a comment and sticks up for Howard ... Cindy, the old witch, was still brooding. Geraldo makes mention of the delayed opening of Jedi due to the Private Parts debut (next week.) Cindy snips, "All this proves is how far we sunk, not how far he's (Howard) risen."

f Cindy & Joey
CNN just reported stern will be endorsing his line of hair and eye products. first book hype, then movie hype, now i can't wait to hear four hours of why we should buy howie's hair products on the show. wake me up when the hype and sell...sell ends.

f all flamers
From the NY Post Web Page...
News Section
Midtown traffic paralyzed

By JACLYN D'AURIA, PAUL STARICK
and TRACY CONNOR

Howard Stern mania descended on Madison Square Garden last
night as tens of thousands of the shock jock's rabid fans swarmed
the streets for the premiere of his movie, "Private Parts."

Midtown motorists were left paralyzed by Stern-lock, while the
self-proclaimed King of All Media arrived in a style that's usually
reserved for the pontiff.

Driving across West 31st Street in a bulletproof "Popemobile,"
Stern whipped the ecstatic crowd into a frenzy with a simple
wave.

The one-time Long Island loser shed a royal red robe to reveal a
snazzy Armani tux on his 6-foot-5 frame, accented with a white
silk scarf and red handkerchief.

"It's typically appropriate to have all my fans here because I made
the movie for you," he told the shrieking horde.

"I'm getting a little tired of Tom Cruise movies."

Pointing to his own mug, he added, "This is the face of
Hollywood."

The sea of wide-eyed Stern buffs exhorted the wild-haired K-Rock
morning man to appear in the buff.

Ripping off their shirts, they screamed out, "Show us your private
parts."

The raunchy superstar, who often jokes about being poorly
endowed, teased the mob -- touching his fly but staying zipped up.

he crushing crowd surged forward, desperately reaching for
Stern's outstretched hands when he took a walk along a red carpet
into the Garden.

That was right after their chants drowned out his performance of
"Great American Nightmare" with the metal band White Zombie.

Stern's acolytes lived up to their reputation for fanaticism.

"It's even better than getting married," said Jeff Taylor, 31, of
Glen Cove, L.I., about joining the horde for a glimpse of Stern and
a first peek at the biopic based on his best-selling book of the same
name.

Manhattan bass player Peter Wire, 30, stood in line for 12 hours
Tuesday for one of the 6,000 tickets to his outrageous idol's
extravaganza at The Theater at Madison Square Garden.

"There's no one who throws a party like Howard Stern. It's
unbelievable," he said. "It's a reason to rock and roll."

Many fans were keenly interested in two of their hero's favorite
subjects.

"I'm looking forward to seeing the lesbians and [tits]," said Long Island
resident Billy Schifrick.

"[Tits] and Howard -- that's what life is all about," Frank Turner of
Elizabeth, N.J., said.

For harried New Yorkers heading home at rush hour, the premiere
was a giant headache, with 31st and 33rd streets between Seventh
and Eighth avenues closed to traffic.

Mike Carmody, 38, of Massapequa, L.I., said it took 40 minutes to
crawl two blocks in his car.

"This is crazy. I never saw anything like this. I never saw so many
people at the same place at the same time," he said.

"Private Parts" chronicles Stern's not-so-meteoric rise from a
third-rate disc jockey to the nation's highest-paid radio performer.

The movie and Stern's portrayal of himself are getting good buzz,
and Paramount expects it to be its highest-grossing film this year.

The audience raved after the credits rolled at the end.

"After seeing this movie, I'm a convert. I never liked Howard
before this," said Brooklynite Dale Ashley, 35, who was dragged
to the screening by his girlfriend, a Stern admirer.

The celebrities attending the premiere included actors Kevin Bacon
and Tom Arnold, rapper LL Cool J, and crooner Tony Bennett.

"I think it's great they let a new face in Hollywood," Stern told the
crowd.

Surveying the hubbub, he noted, "This is almost like Hollywood in
New York. We must have done something right."


               Copyright c1996, N.Y.P. Holdings Inc.
Here's my review of the movie, dont worry, I'm not gonna ruin any scenes for you by telling you exactly what happens.

I say it's an UNBIASED review, let me explain. I'm a huge Howard fan, started listening to him the first day he simulcast into Philly (August 18,1986) and I've been listening avidly ever since. HOWEVER, I've always felt, as much as I love the radio show, his "outside" projects have often sucked--- for example, lets face it, Butt Bongo and The NY Eve Pagent were pretty stupid. Other than the Channel 9 show, which was brilliant TV, Howard has often let me down with his other products. In other words, even though I love Howard, I feel I'm not a blind 'robot fan,' I can be objective... So I went into the movie with [an] open mind...

and I'm STOKED to say---- THE MOVIE IS FANTASTIC !!!!!!!!!!!

It was way better than I hoped, let alone expected! I GUARANTEE it's gonna be a GREAT BIG FAT HUGE -- S M A S H -- HIT !!!!

It was worth every minute of hype, I was completely entertained and enthralled. The only dissatisfaction I could possibly think of is---IT'S TOO SHORT!!!! I could have watched 2 more hours!!! And I am ready to bet right now they'll be a seqel, so I think I'll get my wish someday. I was rapt the entire time watching, and when I realized it was about to end, I was like, "Awwwww no.....!" When was the last time you felt that way about a movie??

...After the movie, as everyone exited, there were staff asking, "What did you think of the movie, what did you think of the movie??" and writing everyone's comments. I was one of the last people out the door, and all I heard was acclaim and compliments. So I asked the guy taking notes, "Were there ANY negative comments at all," and he smiled and said, "Nope!" THERE WASN'T A SINGLE NEGATIVE REVIEW FROM A PACKED THEATER OF PEOPLE !!!!!!

I had 10 passes, and everyone with me LOVED Private Parts. This includes everyone from my teenage cousin and his girlfriend, to my mother!!!!! Once the buzz gets out, I'm POSITIVE the movie will cross over and appeal to a very wide range of folks, not just rabid Stern fans.

Howard is terrific. He was fascinating, kinetic, and hilarious. Robin never looked better, plus she's a surprising natural onscreen. Jackie is Jackie (you'll see what I mean), but the best was Fred. FRED IS AWESOME!!!! The plot is great, there are a million BIG laughs, the music is good, and I have to admit......I even shed a tear or two!!!!! There are some truly touching scenes that moved me. Howard's movie wife was EXCELLENT. Christ, the more I think about it, EVERYONE was good, from the Young Howie to Ben and Rae to all the radio vermin Howard has to overcome along the way. Tremendous casting. There are cameos, surprises, inside jokes, lesbians---- everything a Stern fan would want in a Stern movie, and more more more!!!

I know I'm gushing, but I swear this is my honest appraisal. I'll be putting my money where my mouth is next weekend when it opens, because I'M GOING BACK TO SEE IT AGAIN, EVEN THOUGH I ALREADY SAW IT FOR FREE!!!

Here's one interesting aspect regarding the story... some of the events in the movie don't seem to jive with my understanding of the history of the show. My knowledge of the show is based of course on listening to the radio for over 10 years, and reading the books Private Parts and Quivers, A Life. There are some discrepancies, i think. Now I will have to get my books out and reread them with new eyes! I wonder if the movie didnt take some liberties with reality, sort of a "Hollywoodization" of the truth for convenience and better storytelling.

I cant wait for everyone to see Private Parts, so we can all discuss it specifically! PP talk will dominate this newsgroup for the next several months, I assure you. And one last note for the so-called Stern Haters and posers who pretend to dislike Howard (even though you follow his every move) ---- if you were hoping for Howard to fail with this film, best prepare for a bitterly sore disappointment, because PRIVATE PARTS IS AN OVERWHELMING SUCCESS !!!!!


(2-27-97)
STERN PREMIERE TELECAST LIVE ON INTERNET!!
Check out E! Online's Private Parts Premiere at the following link
http://www.eonline.com/Hot/Howard/
And if you have real audio, you can listen to the 2 hour special from E! right here.
(2-25-97)
Return Of The Jedi Opening Moved Back
What is seen portrayed by 20th Century Fox to be a reasonable decision to keep the Star Wars Trilogy movies well spaced has insiders wondering if Howard Stern's Private Parts worried nervous movie execs. The fact that Howard's movie and Return Of The Jedi were to open on the same night had critics and fans alike wondering which movie deserved their attention more, most people I asked (and myself) choose Howard. Apparently, these feelings made it to whoever is in charge of marketing, and last minute, the third installment to the overly-hyped re-release of the Star Wars movies was pushed back a week! Funny, Howard's movie was originally scheduled to open up on that date and was pushed up... guess Return isn't as anticipated as they'd hoped it would be!! Way to go Howard!!!! Your movie isn't even out and already its kicking ass!!!
(2-18-97)
PRIVATE PARTS
Promotion
Movie Ad
IN FULL SWING!

Even if you have been living inside a cave, you may have noticed the ever increasing promotion for Howard's soon-to-be HUGE movie, Private Parts. As of this week, Howard has been featured in such publications as MovieLine, The Globe, National Enquierer, Movieline Cover Rolling Stone, Billboard, and even has written an article in March's Cosmopolitan (which I will add is a great promotion and magazine seller!). His movie commercial is airing on television stations now, ever increasing in frequency. Howard will be appearing on almost every late night talk show this month. Radio stations are already playing music from the movie's soundtrack, which will fill Howard's music sector of his "King Of All Media" title. The soundtrack will be out February 25th, and it's already being said to be a huge seller. Howard Stern has, is, and always will be seen, conquering radio, pay-per-view television, Late Night (Cable) TV, politics, home video, books twice, and now MUSIC and HOLLYWOOD!! And, Howard's Movie web-site http://private-parts.com received the most hits for a movie web site in Paramount's WWW history. So, for those who may not be fond of Howard and his material, you're probably asking "why all the hype for such a loser?" Its not like fans of the show haven't known about this great event, in it's making for the last five years. What Howard (and Paramount Pictures) is doing is trying desperately to convince the rest of the world, the people who shun Howard off just by hearing his name or voice (like my mother for example), that this movie IS NOT A JOKE. Private Parts, not even released, has been critically acclaimed by all who have been lucky enough to see pre-screenings, and these include fans, non-fans, reporters, media, and people who didn't even know who Howard Stern is. This movie will win your heart over for Howard no matter what you think of him now. Please, give Howard a chance. Go see his movie!!! I guarantee you will LOVE it. All this advertising for Howard isn't so you can say "Look, there's that ShockJock! I can't stand him!". If he wanted that response, you wouldn't be seeing so much of him. When Howard wants to promote something, he will get his way and you will all go see PRIVATE PARTS... hmmm, I mean, you will know it.


(2-11-97) ROMANCE CLASSICS announces its pick for the
most romantic couple of 1997:

Howard and Alison Stern
WOODBURY, N.Y.--(ENTERTAINMENT WIRE)--Feb. 10, 1997--ROMANCE CLASSICS, the premiere television network devoted entirely to romance, today announced its pick for the Most Romantic Couple of 1997: Howard and Alison Stern.

The selection was made against the following criteria: strength and longevity of the relationship; outstanding demonstration of dedication to the relationship; clear and utter devotion between partners; and the best chance for success in the future.

Howard and Alison beat out other romantic notables for the following reasons:

-- In the face of endless temptation, Howard's commitment to Alison has never wavered.
-- In spite of his shocking public persona, Alison's love for Howard has remained true.
-- Howard's frequent public declarations of his love for Alison.
-- Alison's support of Howard throughout the many phases of his career.

Howard and Alison Stern were college sweethearts. They have been married for 18 years, and faithful to one another for over 20 years. The couple has three children.

Howard has commented often on his wife and their relationship. Below are some examples.

Howard and his wife, Alison "Within a week after our relationship began, I knew I was going to marry her. We would tell each other that we're going to be like those old people, growing old together. And it was true. Every time I reject another Penthouse pet, that vision gets sharper and truer."

"Meeting a beautiful girl like Alison was the most incredible highlight of my miserable life. I was so punch drunk from getting knocked around by women that I couldn't even imagine someone this dynamic would be into me."

"Alison has stuck with me through thick and thin, has never cared about material things or put pressure on me, and loved me even before I had a radio show."

"The amazing thing about me is that even in my sex dreams I can't cheat on Alison."

Kate McEnroe, president of ROMANCE CLASSICS, said: "If you've listened to Howard's show, watched him on E! or read his books, you have discovered a side of him that is truly romantic. It demonstrates that romance doesn't always come bundled in hearts and flowers."

ROMANCE CLASSICS is a 24-hour, commercial-free entertainment service devoted entirely to romance. The programming features a mix of classic films and musicals; popular mini-series and teleplays; adaptations of romantic literature; and original lifestyle programs focusing on the issues that are most important to women, particularly love, family and relationships. Note: Quotes are from Howard Stern Private Parts.
This information courtesy of the channel's web site, which can be seen here!
(2-3-97 6:30am) Detroit Michigan to Get Stern Again...
After almost 15 years since Howard left his station WWWW (W4) 106fm when it went country, Howard Stern is once again on the airwaves of Detroit, Michigan, on WYST 97.1fm. Detroit was Howard's third real job, a big step up from when he was first on local station WRNW 107.1fm in Weschester County, NY, and then Hartford, CT's WCCC. The Detroit market is the 5th largest market, something new I learned. Howard has been begging Infinity (now officially Westinghouse) Broadcasting to put him on there for at least 5 years and finally, taking Imus' place, Howard got his wish. I bet Imus is happy, he's now on AM radio there... All Howard needs now is Atlanta to complete his wish-list (and as he mentioned, Butte, Montana too) Congratulations Detroit! Windsor Canada now gets Stern too, but Howard doesn't care... "they might as well be the United States" Robin said!
(1-31-97) Jackie Martling's Dangerfield Moments
On Thursday Rodney Dangerfield made an appearance to promote the opening of his new movie Meet Wally Sparks, a comedy he's been working on for 5 years. The interview was really great, learning about Rodney's beginnings as an aluminum-siding salesman who did stand-up on the side... which eventually landed him in a permanent spot on the stand-up circuit. He realized where his nitch in life was. Anyway, after the interview (back from commercial) Jackie, who was known to have been close to Rodney several years back, was pointed out to not have spoken at all to Rodney. Rodney came back in and that's when the fireworks began! Awhile back when Jackie was a struggling stand-up comedian he rode the coat-tails of Rodney, even writing some of Rodney's jokes that have since become very famous (Double Bagger). Being good friends, Jackie asked Rodney if he could borrow $1000 to finance his first record. Rodney agreed. Some time at a bar or somewhere else similar, Jackie and Rodney made an agreement that Jackie could pay Rodney back in jokes. Funny! Then, even more bizarre, Jackie feels his career is going well and decides to ask Rodney if he can borrow more money, this time $2000!! Rodney declined, and I guess was upset about it. The whole rest of the morning, Jackie's cheapness was ragged on, how he had to pay with jokes! Hay (Jackie Voice)!!! Jackie whipped out his checkbook and wrote a check for a grand, which Rodney wouldn't accept. Looks like Jackie knows what he's doing -- he dumped Eddie Murphy before Eddie was famous, and Rodney Dangerfield before he became famous. Sounds stupid in this description, but think about Jackie and his cheapness attitude, and how he gets ranked on. It was funny. From now on, Jackie is referred to as "Jackie the Joke-Man Borrow-a-Thousand-Dollars-and-Pay-It-Back-In-Jokes Martling"!
(1-17-96) New Orleans Stern Return!
Sources tell me The Howard Stern will once again grace the New Orleans, Louisiana area after almost 7 months off the air. B97 WEZB-FM dropped the Stern show last June following a format change targeted to adult females, despite their number one ratings in the male 18-35 category. The show begins Monday January 20 on KKND 106.7, a modern rock station which will carry the show live (starting at 5am Central time). For all those in New Orleans, congratulations! Finally. Your prayers have been answered! Stern! Stern! Stern!
(1-13-97) Happy Birthday Howard!
Monday's show was brought to us live from the Sony Music Studios in New York as Robin and the gang organized and threw a birthday bash for the true King of All Media. The party cost an estimated $80,000. Tom Cheap-o-sano couldn't shut up about it according to Howard. Never in the history of morning radio has that much money been spent for one personality for one show.
Guests included Jay Leno, who has called in and been the first guest on every birthday show I can remember. He nagged on and on about the show Howard did over a year ago with the lesbians kissing and the badmouthing on Letterman. After about 15 minutes, Howard and Jay seemed friendly. Howard is scheduled to appear on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno on the night of the opening of Private Parts, March 7th.
Musical groups Beck, The Wallflowers, and Veruca Salt appeared. Governor Pataki made a surprise call in - no one expected that. People the show usually doesn't get along with were on. Morton Downey Jr called in to boast that he's still alive despite Howard's bet, and Deborah Norville stopped by (from Inside Edition). Chris Rock, talking about his Saturday Night Live days and standup comedy, and Tom Arnold, talking about Rosanne and his new wife Julie, also stopped by. It was an entertaining show!
Watch MTV this week to see shots of Beck from the show.
MTV News clips air at :50 after the hour most of the day and night.
Sunday, January 12th was Howard Stern's 43rd birthday, or so it seems...
I've heard more than enough rumors that Howard is really 44, so I did some research. I consulted the Ultimate FAQ which unfortunately doesn't exist anymore (its over 900k in text), and here's what I found...

Howard Alan Stern was born on Jan. 12th 1954 to Ben [Bernard] (B. 1921) and Ray Stern (B. Oct. 22, 1927), in Roosevelt Long Island NY...

Ok, simple math, 97-54=43. So, what ever rumors you are hearing aren't true! Happy 43rd Birthday Howard. This is your year!
Birthday Bash
Picture courtesy of The Uzo Sternchat web page

Private Parts Filming continues...
(A glimpse into what its like being an extra on Private Parts)
by the King of all Medical Students, Bijan

I arrived at Bryant Park at 11:00. Fans were lined up around the block waiting to enter the extras holding area. After waiting and filling out forms and eating luch, we were called to the set at 2:00 pm. There was a huge stage with a Howard Stern banner hanging. The entire park was closed for filming.

Howard Movie Shoot The SCENE: Howard's triumphant rally when he became #1 in NYC radio after WNBC fired him. AC/DC (they were actually there and even jammed with Howard between some takes), came out and played "Shook me all night Long." As Howard, Gary, Jackie, Robin, Fred, and Alison, Ben and Rae watched, everyone looked happy. Then, the pregnant Alsion's water breaks, and she and Howard run off stage into a police car on their way to the hospital.

The entire cast of characters was there as "VIP extras": Janks, Melrose, Crackhead Bob, David Peel, Nicole Bass (scary), King of all Messengers, etc etc.

Jackie, Gary, Fred, and Robin were dressed circa 1985, while Howard was dressed as 1992 Howard. His wife was costumed to look preganant. So there was a bit of an anachronism...celebrating him being #1 in NY radio...but it being 1985. Anyway...who really cares

It was Betty Thomas' birthday today, so Fred lead everyone in a stirring rendition of Happy Birthday between takes. AC/DC jammed with Howard...they played "The Jack" as well as bits of a few other songs. Entertainment Tonight, MTV's Chris Connelly, E!, and Extra wewre all there to capture every moment.

Gary gave away great prizes to people between takes. We begged for Jokeman to tell some jokes, he finally told one about the kid asking his dad what a vagina looks like. As chants of F-Timmy's skull, F-blaze, and "give Gary some hay", went up, the mood was light and fun. Howard signed TONS of autographs.

More Howard Private Parts movie shoot Girls were asked to flash their breasts to the cameras. Jesus, what a day

I was able to take 27 pictures of the whole thing on a disposable camera. Those pictures will be posted on a web-site-to-be named later in the next 2 or 3 days.

It was a long day of filming, but it was well worth it. I was up in the very front, shook Howard's hand, and talked to Fred (he will have a gig with is band next saturday night, he says). It was AWESOME.

King of all Medical Students, Bijan

Photo courtesy Nick Stannard, who just happened to be walking by with his Hi-8.


VISIT THIS SITE TO LEARN MORE!!!
(1-10-97) Fred "The Elephant Boy" out of the closet; bisexual
Fred The Elephant Boy A couple of months ago, Fred tried playing a prank on the show, backfiring of course. Howard said Fred would never appear again being such a bad guest, and Fred decided to make a pact that he would always be 100% honest with the show from now on. Elephant Boy was allowed on with his girlfriend Mary, this time because he and Mary were going to set CrackHead Bob up with their friend who, according to what Howard heard, was willing to date him. She was reluctant. Anyway, Howard had something in store for Fred. Howard received a tape of Fred on a telephone dating service phone-mail looking for a couple in which the male was bisexual. Hearing shouts of "faggot" and "homo" and "faeg" from the background ambience and phone calls, Fred the Elephant Boy in a surprising moment admitted to taking part in bisexual behavior while he was in his twenties (He's 38 now). Still, he claimed that the phone call message was a joke. The call was really funny. Howard said Elephant Boy is now back on the "A" guest list thanks to this.

(1-09-97) Howard Hints at Movie Premiere Plans
Howard, last week, near the end of the show, hinted about the bash planned around the premiere of his movie Private Parts. His meetings with MTV last week were to prepare for what is to be a sort-of Stern-Stock gigantic bash. The movie will be shown throughout the night on huge outdoor screens with hot alternative bands from the soundtrack of the movie playing. No doubt, its going to be big. This is unconfirmed, stay tuned for details...
(1-4-97)
Howard and the crew (Robin, Fred, Jackie, Bababooey etc.)
have returned from their Christmas / Winter vacation with lots of stories to tell.
Robin was convinced by some friends to venture off to India. She flew the Concord to London, stayed in a hotel in London one night, flew British Airways (now her favorite airline) to India where she immediately admitted to herself how precious America really is. Getting lost, ripped off, and stuck in a 4 star hotel that looked identical to the shack they had her booked in the night before, Robin realized she had made a big mistake. As soon as she could get a "trunk-line" (phone) out of the country, she booked her flight and got the hell out, back to London where she enjoyed accomodations fit for a queen. Yusssssssss!
Fred tried desperately to get along with his wife. A separation has been speculated for over 6 months now. Fred admits that things started going down the tubes the second he put his ring on her finger.
Howard flew out to LA to do voice overs for his movie, and got to sit in on a test screening to watch moviegoers' reactions. He was very nervous. The fans were so enthusiastic and reacted to the movie so well, that Paramount cancelled the focus group polling, saying the audience showed that there's nothing wrong with it. It will be an awsome movie!
Jackie and Bababooey, who the hell knows! I missed that part. I know that Gary watched the FOX New Year's Special where they imploded a building in Las Vegas, but when the countdown hit zero the lights went out and nothing could be seen. Howard saw it too.

Howard Deals with Another Suicide Caller
(12-12-96) A woman, feeling that there is no way for her to move on, called in threatening suicide. She several times almost hung up, but stuck in there throughout the call. Howard used his movie as a motivation for the woman to keep on living, saying she still has to see it. He invited her to the premier, if she wanted to go. Robyn mentioned the fact that it is holiday time, and she shouldn't damper the spirit. Also, the woman should realize that there is support and help out there - she just hasn't looked into all the options. A psychologist called in to try to help. After Howard started singing the theme from Annie where Robyn said "Now that would make me kill myself", she was put on private conference with the psychologist. John Popper, singer from Blues Traveler, who was visiting Howard with the band, attempted helping the woman too, but he wasn't any help... he did sing a very moving song which seemed to make me forget the pain the woman had in her voice, and redeemed his attempts of helping earlier. I think the song is called "Just Wait".
Despite Howard's good counseling, he later admitted that he cares about no one but himself.
"There's no such thing as a failure who keeps trying..."
TinyTim Howard pays Tribute to Tiny Tim
Tiny Tim died last week (11-30-96) of a massive heart attack while performing on stage. His last words were, to his wife, "I don't feel so good", then he collapsed. Howard, who has had Tiny Tim on the show for over 10 years, payed tribute by playing old clips and singing a tribute song describing Tiny's funniest show moments, including when he admitted several personal notes such as his adult diapers, impodence, and cleanliness. Tiny is most well known for his novelty hi-pitched sung banjo music including his only hit "Tiptoe Through The Tulips". For more about this story, visit CNN.com

Ralph Fails Hetero Test

Ralph, Howard's less than perfect snaggle-tooth homo-sounding hair-stylist took a lie detector test, only after being payed $700 by Howard to do it, to determine whether or not he is a FAEG!... he failed. Howard, before the test and in an attempt not to lose any money, bet $700 that Raplh wasn't gay, so Howard lost $1400. The test was administered by the same homo-sounding guy who gave Robin her test to see if she was in love with Howard.
Ralph Faeg

EL PASO STATION NO MORE???
I've been receiving lots of mail from concerned fans in Texas who have been reporting that the El Paso Howard affiliate dropped the show. Here's what happened.. KROD 600am dropped the show after failed attempts at renegotiating a contract with the show. Since Howard did have recent ratings in El Paso, hopefully some other station will be smart enough to pick up the show soon... Also, in New Orleans and Richmond lots of people are bummed as the show has been cancelled there as well
Miss America Paperback Out
Howard's second book, Miss America, was released today in bookstores all across the country in paperback. Of course, marketing genius Howard decided this time to release three versions of the new paperback, unlike the two of Private Parts'. Each one has a different outfit and color of hair... except for the armpits of course.
James Doohan from Star trek was on...
and Howard was in fine form. He could have pressed "Scotty" for more dirt on Shatner, but Stern was being cool, no doubt because the guy is almost 80 years old, so Stern went easy on him. Some great lines were tossed about though. Doohan has a new book out. It seems as if most of the cast are not fond of Kirk. Lets face it, Shatner comes from the school of Rod Steiger as far as overacting goes. Check out " Kingdom of the spiders" or the old Roger Corman classic " Shame". As far as his singing goes I'd rather listen to Mae West!
NOTICE: The reason why this page isn't updated as much as it should be is because I can't get the show in anymore. I try to listen as much as I can, however due to my location that is usually limited to once a week for about an hour or when I go home. If anyone would like to write articles, PLEASE send them in... Make sure it's up-to-the-minute news! Thank you.
Janks wins F.M.ey
Captain Janks, for the first time, won the Prestigous FMey Award for best Phony Phone Call. Since the category was first introduced, Howard has made an effort to purposely NOT let Janks win, just to piss him off. The reason he won this year is because Ponce De La Phone, who was originally picked to win, declined because, for one, Janks is his idol. Other reasons include the fact that he still lives at home with his parents, and didn't want a camera crew there at 4:30 in the morning.
Howard Stern received a phone call asking him to grade each of his employees.
Here's the Howard Stern Report Card.

The Howard Stern Show
Report Card
NAMEGRADEWHY NOT HIGHER
Robin QuiversAAlways Late for news
Stuck in crapper
Gary Dell'AbateBScrews up too much
Jackie MartlingB+
John MelendezBMesses up a lot
Mike GangeCAll he does is mess up on Howard's food
Steve GrilloB-Has been an intern forever
Tom ChiusanoFWorst God-Damn Stupidest Manager
Eric Fred NorrisB+Is weird
Ralph CirelloBDoes Howard's hair, Credit problems
Scott "The Enigineer" SalemBDoes a good job, but occasionally doesn't get tapoes in on time
Jeff SchickA+IBM guy, has to get A+
Howard himselfCStill masturbates


Happy Birthday Robin
Today, Robin Quivers, co-host to the Howard Stern Show (for those who didn't already know) turned 44 today (8-8-96 Thursday). Howard celebrated by playing her theme song ("...take off your PJs, your mommy's a-slip. Daddy's comin' in wit'a vaseline...") and complimenting her on her 20-ish appearance.

"Happy Birthday Robin, bend over that chair" said Howard.

The gift Howard gave to his princess, in a small nice looking box, saying "wow", is a gold "Y" necklace. Further study of the jewelry reveals a crown. "What else would you get for royalty" said the jokeman. Robin thanked Howard with a hug, of course Howard wanted to feel her up instead.
In other Robin news...
Robin's assistant quit, again. Initial reasons are that he was alergic to the cat, but later probing discovered that he was being trained by Robin's assistant who was quitting for "personal reasons"... maybe the former assistant was telling the new guy of the actual job description...
Robin on Strings

A&E's Biography Profiles Howard Stern
Click above to read what A&E has to say about it
My review...
Well, it was on, and I must say it was ok. Although only skimming on most of the events of his life, especially the more recent events such as his run for governor, Howard Stern: Radio Rebel from A&E did paint a fair picture of the King Of All Media. The show highlighted Howard's early career from his start at WRNW in Weschester through Hartford, Detroit, Washington, and New York at WNBC and his early WXRK life. No mention of Fred (Eric) surprisingly however much Jackie was seen in the collage of Stern event video clips. This presentation was a program I couldn't keep my eyes off of because of the tons of never-before seen video footage of Howard, going back as far as Hartford. Also, many audio clips were played of his show in the early stages. Also, some info on his transitions between stations that I didn't know about was mentioned, like his T'hell with Shell campaign during the Gas Crisis. As for being "the program Howard doesn't want you to see", I think they just said that to get ratings. Howard's financial situation was emphasized quite extensively throughout the program, mentioning every earning he received from every project he's been involved in, from the $12,000 salary he got at Hartford to the $7 million he gets now. The commentary was good yet, as I've mentioned, not totally specific; a trademark, I guess, of the Biography program. "Long enough to cover the subject and short enough to keep it interesting" (for the housewives and history buffs). Overall, I say congradulations to the A&E network for their effort. They managed to put together a fair, unbiased, and throughly entertaining program that let us peer into the story of the man who conquers all media, Howard Stern.
The Arts & Entertainment Cable network, after 4 months in the making, will be airing their installment of "A&E Biography" covering the loyal subject of Howard Stern this Monday night at 8:00pm EDT (Check local cable listings for time and channel). I was contacted by Mr. Bob Levin of ABC productions prior to and during this biography's production. Bob told me at the start, "we're going to paint a very fair and entertaining picture of the King of All media". Recently I received word that it turned out really well, so that, I hope, is an indication of how it will be. This program should be interesting. A&E usually does a good job with a majority of its subjects on this show - we can only guess what Howard will be like. Howard has nothing to do with this program, and personally isn't very pleased with the fact that it will be airing. Speculations on usenet are that he feels this way because he had nothing to do with it, and therefore makes no money off of it. And guess which pumpkin-head gets his bio done the next night?... "Howard Stern: Radio Rebel"... Be sure to tape this one, folks... as well as Limbaugh's too...


Fans Pissed as Richmond Station Bales Out
You'd think that stations would realize what they're doing before they go and ruin thousands of their listener's mornings... Following the recent trend of Buffalo and New Orleans, Richmond Virginia station WVGO 106.5 dropped Howard Stern from their morning team. WVGO was recently purchased by ABS Communications, who immediately cancelled the show and changed the format citing loss of ratings as their excuse. The exact reason hasn't been told, but the possibilities are the following:
  • 1. Pressure from sponsors such as the UKRAP Grocery chain, as well as the anti-Stern show campaign from a self-proclaimed group called the Citizens for Better Broadcasting that has been pressuring the station to drop the show since its debut
  • 2. Fear of government fines (yeah right),
  • 3. No ratings from the show (another bs story), or
  • 4. the new owners don't like Stern.
Now what? According to Howard, a company carrying his show on two of their other stations owns a station in Richmond which in the near future may pick up the broadcast. ABS Communications has agreed to pay the remainder of its contract to Infinity Broadcasting, reported at over $250,000.
And if you still must hear your King...
Many reports have been coming in from Richmond listeners that the signal from Norfolk 93.7 WKOC, carrying the Stern Show 90 miles away, is receivable for a vast portion of the morning, as well as 106.7 WJFK out of Northern Virgina.
HOWARD STERN IN TV GUIDE AGAIN!!!
( click here to read it now!)
Westinghouse Electric Corp. Buys Infinity
Westinghouse, who purchased CBS television last year and currently the largest owner of radio stations in the country, decided to buy out its competition Infinity Broadcasting for an estimated $3.9 billion, creating a dominant position in the nation's top 10 radio markets. What we really want to know is what does this mean for Howard?. From what I can gather from the information and also from earlier events similar to this, Westinghouse will not hurt the Stern show spread. In fact, this may help Howard get into more markets than currently possible, now having the backing power of a company 5 times larger than before. Personally, I don't think this will change much in the recent future, so don't worry about it. He signed a 5 year contract so if they bail out at least Howard will get his fair share...
Eric F. Mucus...
Eric 'Fred' Nukis It happened unnoticed. Over 2 years ago, Fred Leo Norris, upset with the fact that his mother had not named him the original name she chose, changed his name to Eric Fred Norris. Eric, the name she had originally chosen, was not given to him because it was the name of her ex-boyfriend before Fred's (Eric's) dad. The legal paperwork must have been a lot of work, but that did not stop Eric. What is a shock is that he told no one. Why? Fred's explanation is that everyone calls him Fred anyway and that it is easier for him because his bills are sent to Eric. His driver's license, credit cards, utilities, and other official things are listed with the name Eric Fred or Eric F. Howard's explanation is that Fred is insane. It was also disclosed that Eric's last name isn't Norris, but Nukis, a name that sounds like Mucus.

Movie More Than 1/2 Way Complete
Howard's movie is really coming along. Now a month into production, Howard has mentioned that the filming of Private Parts is really into full swing, with a majority of scenes completed. Paramount Pictures definitely has a hit on its hands!
Kathie Lee Weeping Kathie Lee Gifford, talk show co-host, author and Frank Handing Out Money singer, now is getting trashed by the media for something that she (should have been and probably) was fully aware of. Dumbass. Her clothing line sold in Wal-Mart, shirts for $9.92, was discovered to be made by underpaid sweat-shop workers in Central America. What's funny is when Kathie Lee denied it and mentioned that they are made in the United States, a sweat shop was discovered not less than 2 miles from the Live with Regis and Kathie Lee set. In an attempt to rectify the situation and ultimately look good, Frank Gifford, Kathie Lee's ancient-aged husband, went down to the sweat-shop and handed out $300 "gifts" (not payments) to each employee. Of course he had a press agent along side him. Can you say "Positive P.R."? (Photos courtesy of CNN)
UPDATED NEWS ABOUT THIS AND OTHER STORIES HERE!!!
SOMETHING I NOTICED...
If you happened to see the movie "The Indian In The Cupboard" you may have noticed the old "K-Rock" bumper sticker on the kid's cork board... Being a Stern fan I always notice these things...
Fred's Marriage Not Looking So Good
During a discussion about Robin's weight, Fred announced unofficially that things between him and his wife are 'not that severe' at best. Howard, attributing the problems to Allison's acting career, as well as the rest of the crew, weren't sure what to make of the unexpected news. A divorce may be looming somewhere in the future. Howard feels Fred is the type that may be married 7 times in his life. By the way, Robin never did admit to her weight, but some listeners guessed it between 140 and 150 lbs.
Joey Buttafuoco Confronts
Amy Fisher's Father

Joey Buttafuoco, best known for his involvement with underaged Amy Fisher, appeared on the Stern show to promote his 3 picture movie deal. During the appearance, Buttafuoco made some crazy accusations about Mr. Fisher and his abuse of Amy. This spawned Mr. Fisher to call in, and that's when the fireworks began. Joey accused Mr. Fisher of sexually abusing Amy, and himself to be not involved with her at all; just that the guilty plea was taken for a reduced sentence. Mary Joe then called in repeatedly questioning Mr. Fisher's daughter's actions, asking him why his daughter tried to murder her. The whole thing lasted for about a half an hour and exhausted not only the participants but the whole crew as well as most listeners!

ROBIN SONG CONTEST WINNER ANNOUNCED!

This song kicks butt... or at least grabs Robin's. The winner, a Puerto-Rican who was trying to sound like a black guy, said he had no clue he'd win. Bill did come on, to the surprise of the cast wheelchair-bound. The song was sung by Bill who portrayed Robin's dad coming in to molest her in the middle of the night. "Robin, wake up sweetie... your mommy's asleep. Take off your PJ's. Your daddy's coming in with the vaseline..." Very funny. There were lots of great entries.
Filming for Private Parts starts
Thursday, May 2, started Howard's soon-to-be enjoyable routine of waking up at 3am, doing the show, running to his trailer on the set of his movie, 2 hours of makeup, shooting, and coming home around 8pm. The film Private Parts, based on the best-selling autobiography, is scheduled to be released this February. Scenes shot so far include Howard's previous radio jobs at WWWW in Detroit, and WCCC in Hartford, CT; which coincedently started airing Howard's show on Monday (WCCC 106.9fm / 1290am). Howard promises that this movie will be an academy-award winner, and just based on the book alone, I must agree with him...
Mary McCormick announced as leading lady in Private Parts
Starring on the show "Murder One" as a sophisticated lawyer, Mary McCormick's next role will be opposite Howard playing his wife Alison Stern. Screen tests have proven her to be a winner, so Mary is definitely the number one pick. Private Parts is due to start shooting this week. The movie should be released this February
Fred Quits Again after Howard Gets Too Involved
Howard has Gary make Phony Phone Call to Groom-to-be...
Some guy wrote a letter to Howard asking him if he'd appear in his wedding. Since Howard cab barely stand going to his own family's weddings, he decided to use this opportunity for a phony phone call. First, in order for Howard to come, no cameras of any kind could be present. The guy agreed. Second, the ceremony would have to be cut down to ten minutes. Again, the guy agreed. Then, Howard would remove the garter from the bride. Half the rice, or bubbles in this case, would have to be saved to be thrown at Howard when he leaves. Howard would do a stand-up act in which he goofed on the less than glamorous looking brides-maids, physically challenged or retarted, and ugly cousins; and grab the bride's ass and feel her up. This guy seemed to go along with everything. Of course, Gary let the guy know it was a phony phone call and the guy admitted he was a fool for believing it!
Guy found with teeth bigger than Gary's
Some guy named Marco, an almost 20 year old zit-faced high school senior, who called in last week came down Tuesday (4/23) to measure up against Gary's teeth, and he did. Afterwards, Jackie pointed out their diferences. "Marco's teeth look like they belong in his mouth. Gary's teeth are like tourists..."
Robin, Robin, Robin, yussssssss!

"Deadly Web" as seen by NBC...

    Gigi Rice ("The John Larroquette Show," "Deadly Family Secrets") stars as an innocent divorced mother who finds to her horror that she is the victim of a cyber-stalker. What starts out as obscene E-mail spirals into a nightmare in which she fights a killer to save the lives of her children. The drama was suggested by real events. Also starring are Andy Lawrence (NBC's "Brotherly Love"), Ed Marinaro (NBC's "Sisters" and "Hill Street Blues") and Ted McGinley, who is married to Gigi Rice. Robin Quivers is a special guest star. Jorge Montesi ("Visitors of the Night") directed from a teleplay by Alan Ormsby ("Cat People"). Chuck Fries is the executive producer and Christopher Fries is the producer of the production from Chuck Fries Productions, Inc.

Oh boy. Here we go again.. Another bad made for TV movie combining the acting talents of stars from virtually every end of TV (From the Lawrence's to The Flash to The Larroquettes and almost to ER). "Deadly Web", the computer sci-fi thriller, was obviously written for channel surfers and middle-aged women who barely know a thing about computers (as I noticed barely any depiction of reality besides the AT&T based World Net). This was very apparent with the commercials for Women's Disposable Underwear and hemmoroid cream, both with women spokespersons. The movie is based on real events, but I think watching a reenactment of the real events would have been better, even without Robin's 4 minute max. on-screen appearance. Just like with Fresh Prince, NBC hit the jackpot this time, luring Howard Stern's audience into a 2 hour cross between "Sneakers" and "The Net". The only differences are that those were good movies and didn't have commercial breaks. Overall though, for a made-for-TV movie, I give it a C+. It could have been much worse, I'm sure...
What did internet users think?

Here's the tally from the voting
about Robin and "Death Web"...
The movie was pretty good15%
The movie was terrible85%
Robin was pretty good40%
Robin was terrible60%
Robin was in this?1 person

"Jill" Shatner visits the Homo Room
A priveledge only reserved for "trusted" guests was extended to Star Trek's Captain William Shatner. While Robin could only peek down the stairs, the guys bonded in a way only guys can; by banging gongs and typing with their genitals, hiding frogs where the sun doesn't shine, sticking bananas in their mouths, and ending everything with the final song, When You're Bending. All Robin knew was that they were down there to describe his new books... "Star Trek: The Return", "Star Trek: The Ashes of Eden", and "Man of War".
What exactly does a colonic feel like?
Apparently Robin knows, and Kathy, Howard's assistant, who brought in pictures of the entire procedure after Robin's little secret slipped out. Colonics, for those of you who don't know, is the process of flushing out the intestines using water and some other chemicals. Robin's been doing it for at least 2 months. Howard and the audience found this out early this week as Howard was talking about his own personal hygene problems. "Sometimes it looks orange, like carrots" is the line Howard said that Robin cracked it on. The nurse who administers the colonic inserts a lubricated tube about an inch and a half wide into the rectum and flushes it out with water. The waste water is disposed, and no odor is emitted. About 20 gallons of water pass in and out of the colon during an excruciatingly nightmarish-to-the-thought one and a half hour process that the victim gets to watch in a mirror. This secret was so funny that I'm glad Robin let us in on it and so is Howard, who has been playing up on it for over a week now.
UPDATED NEWS ABOUT THIS AND OTHER STORIES HERE!!!
Happy Passover fromRabbi Gottfried..
(winning the Phone Call Award for the week)

To welcome in the Jewish celebration of Passover Howard had renoun Rabbi Gottfried from New York (Gilbert) call in to explain exactly what the holiday is all about. "Passover is a holiday made up for Jews to get off from work". With his amazinglously humorous antics one Catholic woman who was deeply offended called in to correct the Rabbi, whom she thought was real.


James the Smelly Intern, future comedian,
Scammed by Howard
James, an 32 year-old intern on the Howard Stern show, has dreams of becoming a major spot on the comedic circuit. Last week, that dream almost came true. Howard called James playing the role of talent agent Paul / Bud Drayton of The L.A. Comedy Agency who had heard Jim on the radio and loved him to the point to be interested in him for his talent (and more). Buying the whole act and not even opening his eyes to the inpecularities of the whole situation, James confidently agreed with Drayton's pitch. He invited him to his place to drink, get stoned, and fool around with him. Drayton asked Jim to write homo sketches and send him $500.00, all of which James agreed. The agency would fly James to LA where he would stay at Drayton's one bedroom apartment, even sleeping in the same bed. Drayton said he wouldn't mind. Drayton also said James had to fix his Smelliness, since James is known for his farting problem. "Ever been with a man?" and "Douche-bag says what?" were asked as well. James was saying anything to sell him self and discredit everyone else, just to get to the top.
About Grillo He's uptight, young, not good looking, short, little "elf" kind of guy. Not really funny, pretty well known.
About Ralph Sounds gay
About Stuttering John No motivation. Lost the eye of the tiger. Lazy. Sits on his ass.
About Jackie "Whatever Jackie does, don't do it." I let myself laugh sometimes, but not really funny.
About Fred Such a dope. An enigma.
James can be sucked anything. He is the most gullable person on the show.
A true scam by Howard! Phony Phone calls strike again!
The Morning Show with David Letterman
The Morning Show With David Letterman That's right. For the first time in history, Late Night talk show host David Letterman appeared in Howard Stern's studio. Letterman's appearance was a payback to Howard for cooperating throughout the years with him with Howard appearing on Letterman's show. Dave felt it was time to return the favor. Many things were brought up, including Dave's love life, his hair, his opinion of his portrayal in the HBO movie "The Late Shift", Morty, Letterman's appearance in Private Parts, Ideas "borrowed" from Howard on Letterman's show including Richard Simmons and Howard's Mom, and their impending friendship. As far as his love life was concerned, Dave was reluctant to provide any detailed information. He did Dave mention that he would like to get married and have children so he would have someone "to pass the estate on to." When confronted on his hair, Dave took off his baseball cap and let Howard tug on it, confirming its naturality. The Late Show movie, in which the actor portraying Letterman had red hair, was said to not even be seen or read by Letterman, however he was still upset over the use of a red-haired character when his hair is in fact brown. The interview was very comical, with Letterman telling his as-usual out of place stories for a laugh, including one about his short-wave radio listening hobby. One caller compared the event to last year when Howard went ape over Sally Jesse Raphael and Robin's appearance, when Howard twisted the Microsoft slander into "F. the skull of Sally Jesse Raphael." It was one of the funniest and most entertaining Stern-events since then.
HOWARD STERN PROUD OF HIS SUCCESS
On Monday(3/18)'s show Howard let his first girlfriend Robin know what she Picture of Howard from 1982 could be doing now. Howard, now overcome with success, called his first girlfriend and constantly harrassed her about his stardom and her blunder of dumping him. It was hilarious! Howard let her know that she could have been his, and that because of what she did she wouldn't even be mentioned in the movie. She mentioned her dissatisfaction with his penis size and "sex" (as she could barely call it). Robin, now realizing what she gave up, constantly questioned Howard about a second chance. Alison, Howard's wife, called in and put Robin straight. "You had your chance, honey." she said as the crowd of Stern show misfits oo-ed and ah-ed. Let this be a lesson to all you women out there, that your guy may become something great someday. If you dump him, then its only your loss...
At least this is what Howard wants Robin to realize!

The Stars at night, are big and bright...
and apparently so were Jackie "The Jokeman" Martling and "Bababooey" Gary Dell'Abate in Dallas, Texas' St. Patty's Day parade Saturday. Leaving New York Friday right after the show, Gary and Jackie, flew first class (at the suggestion of Jackie) from New York to Dallas. During the flight, Jackie , talkative as usual, carried on conversations with Gary, whose sleepy as usual. Most of the time, Jackie would stop mid-sentence to realize that Bababooey was sleeping.
"He looked like a blow-up doll... in that most people when they sleep have to lean on something... Gary just was there [sitting up straight]" showing tongue, teeth, gums, and all! The sight made Jackie drink. Upon arrival, they were put on KEGL 97.1fm for an hour plugging the following day's event, at which time Jackie told some pretty overly-airable jokes. On Saturday, two babe-equipped Jaguars carried Gary and Jackie, one car and model for each, down the streets of Dallas. The crowd was enormous, estimated at 30,000. Lining the streets were fans holding signs and wearing shirts saying "F! Jackie and Timmy", one going as far to say "I shot Timmy from the grassy knoll." The bright Texas sunshine turned Jackie into a lobster. Also, playing stump the jokeman to the crowd before the parade, Jackie lost is voice. Gary basically sat there and waved to the crowd and watched Jackie, even though they both got paid the same amount of money, rumored at around $6000. Needless to say, it was a quite humorous weekend for the two!
Oh bla dee, oh bla dah, life goes on
If one person didn't wanna feel this way, it had to be Corky (not his name but definitely his appearance). Corky called into the show Monday (3/18) to let Howard know about his Rocky relationship with his ex-wife and former Miss Howard Stern, Elayne Marx. Corky refuses to move on with his life, finding any excuse to see her. He used his daughter which proves this point, saying that when he receives her for visitation, Elayne sends her new boyfriend, a police officer to bring the 5 year old. He wants Elayne to come so he can see her and bother her even more! Corky says the police officer has been responsible for the last 7 times he's been jailed, and why his car was "sold" beneath him. He confirms this saying Internal Affairs was on the case, yet no charges have been filed against Elayne's new love and sex partner. Acknowledge and move on Corky. She's not worth it.
Elayne Marx

JFK Jr. stopped by on Friday to promote "his" magazine George, of which Howard graces the cover this week. He happened to stop by the same day Howard celebrated St. Patrick's Day with his Painting Of the Breasts day.
Andrew Dice Clay Jackie Martling cut down to size
as Andrew Dice Clay ripped him a new a-hole about things including Jackie's failed attempts at success, after Jackie cracked at Dice's thining hair, but even before that Jackie made a joke about how Dice lost his TV show and was now crawling back. Dice said "even Nancy has to pan-handle to make money for you" and "Still Making CD's in the basement?" among other things while plugging his upcoming HBO special "Assume The Position".

Movie Announcement Made Official
Tuesday 2/13 on Howard's show Ivan Reitman appeared as Howard made it official that production of the movie Private Parts, based on his best selling book, has been started by Paramount Pictures. Shooting begins as early as May, and plans are for a definite theatrical release by February 1997.
Has Fred finally had enough?
If you heard Friday's (2/9) show then I guess you heard the anger in Fred Norris' voice after viewing the video of Allison (his wife) in her latest role - another off-broadway play dry humping some guy who's obviously turned on, while Allison says she isn't turned on at all. Seriousness was in Fred's voice that divorce may be an upcoming issue if Allison's "career" doesn't go somewhere very soon. Here's what people thought about it...
Responses:

 Divorce Her: 97
 Don't Worry: 36
    Kill Her: 33
       Other: 38
Some of my favorite "other" responses...
  • Make her work with scott the enginer for a week maybe she'll choke
  • Rub her with steak and throw her to a Rott Weiller
  • Paint her teeth green and give her to Bababooey
  • Make her listen to Sgt. Pecker repeatedly
  • Put her in a car and push it into a lake
  • Set the other guy up on Gay Dial-A-Date
  • Get a role in the same play and make out with someone else
  • Make her spent a night with Fred The Elephant Boy
  • Let Stuttering John talk some sense into her
  • Let her keep it up, maybe AIDS will get her
  • Turn homo - again

HOWARD STERN TOPS
BLACKWELL'S WORST DRESSED LIST
Blackwell
Howard In Drag
HOLLYWOOD (CNN) - Self-appointed fashion critic Mr. Blackwell tossed a gender-bender into his annual worst-dressed list released Tuesday. Radio personality Howard Stern, who appeared in drag on the cover of his best-selling book "Miss America," tops this year's ranking of worst-dressed list. "Let's face it, Howard's 'Miss America' drag looks like Godzilla impersonating Gypsy Rose Lee," said the acerbic guru of haute couture, who has appeared in the controversial talk show host's syndicated radio program. Asked why a man topped the list of the worst-dressed women, a spokesperson for Blackwell said if Stern dressed like a woman, he could be judged as a woman. He also pointed out that U.S. comedians Milton Berle and Flip Wilson had made previous lists. In fact, another male star who appeared on screen in drag -- Patrick Swayze -- came in for lavish praise. " ... One of the most beautiful visions of the year turned out to be Patrick Swayze in 'To Wong Foo ...' Go figure," Blackwell said.

KRock K ROCK
CHANGES FORMAT
Krock

That's right. New York's only classic rock radio station is no longer. Friday January 5th marked the first day of WXRK Krock's new Alternative "New Music" format. "All the people who listen while Howard's on the air, we want them to listen to us the rest of the day," Tom Chiusano, the station's vice president and general manager, said when asked why the radio station had changed its format (NY Times 1/7/96). Howard was so happy about this because for the first time in his life he got to watch everyone else get fired instead of him!! To celebrate, Howard stayed on the air till after 1pm playing his favorite tunes. Howard's "Radio Show" was carried in most markets until noon, including in Albany on The Edge. Too bad for those who enjoyed Max Kinkell or Pete Fornatell... They're gone! "Our hope is that everybody who is here can remain here.", Tom Chiusano told The New York Times when asked about the fate of the K-Rock jocks. Like those Classic Rock Hippies are gonna stay!! Expect a newer hipper radio crew and no more Elton John!!
Stuttering John Getting Married
On January 3, 1996 Stuttering John made the daring move to barge onto the airwaves interrupting Howard and Robin's Kathie Lee Christmas Special review to make the following announcement.
Howard... I'm getting married.
John will be marrying his girlfriend. He says he's been planning this since July. "I love kids" John said as he included the fact that his girlfriend is now three months pregnant. Howard and the crew made sure to welcome John to the End of your life club...
Stuttering John

Did anyone miss Letterman Wednesday Dec. 20? Dave
If so then you missed one funny performance from Howard.
The self proclaimed King Of All Media proved his title AGAIN as he once again drew huge ratings to Dave's slowly drifting-in-popularity format.
Howard appeared in drag, legs shaven and white gloved.
This time Stern, in order to get back at Jay, had two men kiss.
Although many were hoping for women again, the stunt was nonetheless hysterical.
Way to go Howard!!!
To see some of the hysterical shots from this show, go to Marshall's Page
JAY LENO EDITS SELF FROM TONIGHT SHOW
Jay Leno If you saw Howard's Tonight Show appearance Thursday November 30 then I guess you saw that Jay Leno thinks he knows what we shouldn't see. Besides limiting our view of Howard's incredible stunts, including
Lesbian Kissing, Spanking, and interrupting Siskel and Ebert,
Jay decided to edit himself from the show. When Howard wouldn't quit acting "beyond the boundaries of good taste", Jay threw up his arms and walked off the show. Because not enough time was filled, he came back to record another segment. What we didn't see was the unbelievably babyish way El Chin-o reacted - walking right off his own show!!
Howard's remarkable appearance only proves that he is truly
The King Of Television

HOWARD STERN IN TV GUIDE!!!
Taken from "Kathie Lee Gets Mad..."
  • One of [Kathie Lee's] most persistent and vehement critics is raunchy radio host Howard Stern, who has called her phony and hypocritical (and has used some stronger epithets as well), most recently in his best-selling book Miss America.
  • Gifford strenuously denies that she hates Stern. "If you love God, you love people," she says. "I always pray for those who decide to be my enemy." She has never met Stern or listened to his show, but she knows of his criticism. "If I disturb him because I'm everything he's not, it's the ultimate compliment. I wish him and his family well." Husband Frank, the long time Monday Night Football analyst, says he stays cool about the man who routinely--and profanely--savages his wife. "I couldn't care less about him," he says.
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