The Sigma Phi Nothing Page


Einstein: The Founder of Nerd-dom "I want to know God's thoughts ... the rest are details"

"The true value of a human being is determined primarily by the measure and the sense in which he has attained liberation from the self."




This, shown on the left, is a picture of Albert Einstein who is considered by many to be the founder of the Nerd Way of Life. It is to him that we credit our very existence. The God of Nerdom has given us a purpose, and that purpose is... well, we don't know. All we do know is that without him we'd be towel boys for the jocks.

What is Sigma Phi Nothing... What makes us who we are? What the hell are we talking about? We love women We are horny Geek entertainment Maybe I'm a nerd
All New...
Sigma Phi Nothing's
Tales of The Virgin Slide Rule
A collection of rare and unusual stories that only we could come up with

Visit some of our favorite links more coming soon... stay tuned!



Of course what would the
Sigma Phi Nothing Page
be without our Living Prophet,
Colonel Bill Gates
(Waging war on any other not-as-nerdy company that exists)
Bill Gates Army Colonel

WARNING WARNING WARNING!!! Sigma Phi Everything... BEWARE!
(This is the attempt of the girlfriends of the members of Sigma Phi Nothing to represent themselves)

Is there a story behind Sigma Phi Nothing?... Of course there is!!!
Its simple. Like, the first day of college they had this RoboRave thing. This girl Kerry (there always has to be a girl doesn't there?) came up to Ethan and said "You always stand there by yourself?" (or something to that effect). Ok. So now she knows him. Next day, lunch. Brian's sitting in the cafeteria BY HIMSELF as usual when this girl Kerry, again, went up to him, a stranger, and said "Why are you sitting here by yourself. Wanna sit over here with my friend and I?", so he did. Ten minutes later, seeing another kid sitting all by himself, she went over to him and asked the same thing. That was Jeff. Finally, indirectly, through a floormate Maria, Chris was introduced to Kerry. Being our only friend, we hung out with Kerry a lot. That's how we met. Realizing our similarities with each other and differences with Everybody else Jeff jokingly came up with Sigma Phi Nothing, which now has grown into not just a dinky little fraternity, but a way of life for all of us. We decided to use the Four Horsemen of the Apocolypse. Why, I don't know. All I do know is that the Apocolypse is part of the Book Of Revalations in the New Testament prophecizing the end of the world, and The Age Of The Apocolypse is a term describing the time period of the existence of the X-Men character Apocolypse. Read about it here and here. That's basically it. We go to Marist College in Poughkeepsie, NY. We're all NOT single (that can be debated. See Brian's story), and we all are Computer majors of some kind. What can I say? . . . Thank Kerry for all this!
Meet the intelligently gifted yet socially challenged members of Sigma Phi Nothing...
The Four Horsemen
Chris WAR
[email protected]
Voice Sample This is Chris. Chris is best known for his knowledge of computer hardware, Novell Networks, and Star Wars. He is also know for his involvement with the Marist Computer Society, and its president, Patti. Chris also enjoys Magic, D&D, and most fantasy games. Chris currently lives in the Philadelphia area and is working as a Novell Network specialist.
Brian PESTILENCE
[email protected]
Voice Sample This is Brian. There is not much to say about Brian... until you really think about him. He is rare being the only Computer Nerd who doesn't have a total grasp on Star Wars, Magic, or Star Trek. Brian enjoys disc jockeying; a hobby which he has used to his advantage for over seven years. Brian appears to be the only horseman who is without a mate. He spends way too much time in front of his computer and not enough time doing homework. Brian also DJ's at WMCR and WBTN frequently, specializing in his 80s show. Brian currently lives in the Glens Falls / Lake George area of New York and is working as the electronics department associate of Caldor in his mall (sounds fancy doesn't it!).
Ethan DEATH
[email protected]
Voice Sample This is Ethan. Ethan is best known for his Gothic nature. He almost always wears black. He is also known for his artistic talent, and skills in computer programming, which he uses to his advantage with his job for the Marist Computer Lab thing. Ethan also enjoys playing his electric guitar, D&D, and most role playing games. Ethan currently lives in the Burlington, Vermont area and is working for Macro International as a database technician and programmer.
Jeff FAMINE
[email protected]
Voice Sample Jeff Novakouski is a deranged sociopath who loves chalk candy hearts. He has a girlfriend who's nearly as deranged as he is and he and can be often found wearing green sunglasses and black fingerless leather gloves.