November 4, 2004
With Jon Stewart and Ed Helms
Jon:
The election is over. What's happening over there?
Ed:
Well, Jon, the President is focusing on his agenda for the next four years:
Number One : Finishing the war in Iraq.
Number Two: Starting the war in three other countries.
Number Three: The Supreme Court has some vacancies to fill. The Constitution has
some loose ends, and I'm not going to say that prayer will be mandatory, but
let's just say thine loom and churn will be still on the sabbath, good
man.
Going
to be a busy four years!
Jon:
Ed, uh...I have to say, what you're suggesting for his agenda is pretty radical
moves considering that the country is still bitterly divided. Don't you think
that Bush is going to have to make some concessions?
Ed:
(laughs) Concessions?! Jon, this is a man who lost the popular vote last
time, and interpreted that as a mandate! This time he won straight up 51
to 48%. To him that was a shut-out! You can be sure things are getting
done around here! Word of advice, if you want to have gay sex or visit a library
its probably your last night.
Jon:
I didn't realize that.
Ed:
Personally I'll be killing two birds with one stone.